Loving the Enemy

Chapter 11

I love nights. The dark. When nobody is to see you and you can hide from all the monsters on this earth disguised as people.

But not every night is great, when the monsters are hiding there. In the dark. Waiting for you to get out of your comfort zone. And your demons, waiting for you to fall asleep, just to chase you in your dreams.

That's why I normally stay awake at night. To keep myself safe from them. But if I decide to sleep, it often doesn't end well for me. So I mostly go to the roof to watch the stars if I have the chance.

My mama always told me, once someone dies, they go up there and become stars. She's up there now, too. One of the brightest ones. I know it might sound basic because your mama might have told you that, too, but it was still special wasn't it?

My mama was a very smart and kind woman. Maybe even to kind. My papa never liked that about her. He always told her to be careful and to not be naïve. He told her that kindness won't get you anywhere in this world. He told me that, too when she died. I was 12 at that time. That day was the worst day of my life.

He was heartbroken. He loved her with all his heart, and that was ripped out of his chest. He started drinking and killing again. Many people. And I mean many.

He also told me that I shouldn't be like her. To be more coldhearted, cruel, ruthless. Merciless. To be stronger than him, than anyone. I started training, just like my brother, who was together with Fernanda at that time already. I also figured that my specialties were daggers. I love them.

My papa was never a bad man. At least not with the family. He loved us all with his whole heart and worshipped us like gods. Especially my mama and me. Le sue bambine. My brother was always jealous.

When Alex told him he didn't want to be the next Mafia King, papa was a little disappointed but not surprised. He was always an understanding person.

I wanted to make him proud, to show him what a strong and powerful woman I can be.

_______

I am laying in bed right now, staring out the window at the full but beautiful and modern city Tokyo.

I was here quite a few times, considering I have friends here. I also met them here in Tokyo when I was 17 at my birthday party that I celebrated in one of the clubs here. It was very eventful. I met a boy, who introduced me to his friends. We all stayed in contact and somehow I found out that they were assassins. They didn't work for anyone. They were a free group, being assigned by different people. But once I got the Mafia Queen I suggested them a place in my Mafia and they gladly accepted it. Sadly two of them died at a mission I assigned them to. I felt, and still feel, very guilty. It's every time someone dies on my missions. Everyone says that it isn't my fault but theirs for not being careful enough, but I know it's my fault because I should've known better. I should have done more research.

And sometimes I start to think that I am the monster.

My own fucking demon.

_______________

It seems like I have fallen asleep, because when I open my eyes the sun is shining through the window and when I turn my head to look at the clock across the room, it reads 10.17 am.

God, so fucking early.

Suddenly the door burst open and a bright smiling Vanessa enters the room with a tray. "Good morning sunshine! Wakey Wakey!" She booms. She's a fucking morning person and I hate it. She is always so motivated and energetic for no reason and it pisses me off.

I pull a pillow above my head groaning loudly. I hope she gets the hint and just pisses off.

Sadly she is not very light in the head and rips the pillow from my head and throws it across the room. "Wake up Anna or I'll use the cold-water method." She threatens, suddenly turning from happy to serious.