tongue tied - jake kiszka

1.

I hated driving with someone else in the car.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and tried not to focus on the fact that she was a mouth breather. The radio was turned down real low and I strained to hear what was playing. Dawn hadn't wanted to listen to my music, she said it was too loud.

That was fair enough but it was also the point. I glanced over at her as she pulled down the visor to look at herself in the mirror. I wanted to tell her she looked good and that she didn't need to stress but she'd been kind of a bitch tonight so I didn't.

Dawn and I were roommates and she wasn't all that bad, but we hadn't really bonded the way everyone said we eventually would. She had invited me to go to this bar with her downtown and although I had almost said no, she looked so excited I ended up agreeing.

She said that a band from her hometown was playing there and that she wanted to see them which was cool and all but I was going for the free drinks from the men who wanted to sleep with me.

It was a warm night and I was thankful because I had already put up all of my winter clothes in the attic of mom's house. We had spent about a good hour and a half getting ready and I still wasn't satisfied with my outfit but oh well.

We drove for a little longer before finally pulling into a big parking lot. There were already a lot of people there but it was also a Friday night so it made sense. "How do I look?" Dawn said abruptly, cutting through my thoughts.

I turned off the car before looking over. "You look great." I assured her, flashing a lame thumbs up. I wanted to be close with Dawn, I really did. We had just never really clicked.

Of course it didn't help that she wasn't a good person to live with. She was loud and didn't care when I had a test the next morning. She never said anything to the last guy she was sleeping with whenever he'd pee all over the bathroom floor and borrowed my toothbrush that one time.

Not to mention she wore my shirts without asking and used up all my body wash the first couple weeks of us being there. Other than that she was tolerable. I didn't mind when she was a bitch because I knew I was one too.

I pulled down my visor and quickly assessed my makeup, making sure I hadn't messed anything up. "Let's go in." Dawn said, motioning for me to follow her. I did and we walked together in silence and I hated it.

"There's a guy I'm gonna try to go home with." She informed me suddenly. I looked over at her and she was pushing her boobs up confidently. "They look okay?"

I nodded because they did. At least she never had to borrow one of my bras. We got into the bar pretty easily, but that's just how it was with Dawn. They never ID'd her and because I came with her I was waved in the same way.

The bar with dimly lit and it smelled like cigarette smoke. I almost wished it didn't. I was trying to stop smoking which was proving to be a lot harder than I convinced myself it would be.

"They should be going up there soon." Dawn whisper-shouted to me and she looked excited. I wondered if one of the guys in the band was the one she was trying to go home with.

Part of me wished I could find a nice guy to bring back with me but honestly I hated the idea of someone being in my space.

I was never good at the whole having a boyfriend thing. The thought of someone just constantly hanging around was a little  annoying. The last boyfriend I had was when I was a junior in highschool and he said I was an asshole for never following through with our plans.

He was right of course but honestly, if I didn't feel like going, I just wouldn't. He said that you were supposed to enjoy spending time with your partner so turns out I was the problem. I never really bothered with anyone after that and that was okay with me.

"Hey come on." Dawn tugged at my arm and I let her pull me to one of the tables towards the small stage they had at the front. We waited for a little while and two men came up to us asking if they could buy us a drink.

We agreed of course and as they left, Dawn called dibs on one of them just in case her original plan fell through. It was always good to be prepared.

"Look, there they are." She nudged my shoulder motioning to the group of guys coming up onto the stage. They looked about our age, with the exception of two that looked a little younger.

"That one." She pointed up at one of the guys who was holding a guitar. "He was so cute in highschool." I looked at him. He had mess of shoulder length brown hair and his shirt was open. The other guy in front of the microphone looked similar to him and I wondered if they were brothers.

"Those two are twins." Dawn said as if she read my mind. "And that one right there-" She pointed to the taller one positioned by the keyboard, "That's their brother. But he's still a baby."

I nodded my head, listening to her describe each of them but not really paying attention. The guys came back with our drinks and after we thanked them, Dawn quickly shooed them away. She was mesmerized by the guitarist, I could tell.

They began to play and I found that actually quite enjoyed their music. I listened to the first song, sipping at my drink and sort of wishing I had a cigarette.

The music was good and when the song ended everyone clapped. Dawn cheered loudly and the guitarist looked over at our table, drawn to the noise. She waved at him but he didn't really pay her any attention. His eyes were on me.

I broke the eye contact first hoping Dawn hadn't noticed. When I eventually glanced back up he was still watching me, a sly smile playing on his lips.

What an ass.