tongue tied - jake kiszka

31.

   "You're moping."

   I let out a sigh. "I am not."

"Char, it's been two weeks." Dawn stated, giving me a concerned look. I looked up from my computer, where I was trying to do my homework and clearly not getting very far. "You have a wonderful concept of time."

Her look of concerned turned into exasperation as she smacked her lips together. "You should text him back." She crawled over to me in my bed, flopping down next to me. I shifted a little to give her more space and give me some more breathing room.

"They've been out of town for almost two weeks so what good would that do?" I asked before continuing quickly, "Besides- I don't have anything to say to him anyways."

"So you both pine after each other for weeks just to end like this?"

I closed my laptop and turned my head to face her. Trying to do my homework might as well of been the same as fighting a losing battle. "I wasn't pining over him. You know that." I corrected her, "And it's not ending like this or ending like anything because it wasn't anything to begin with."

"You can't end something you never started right?" Dawn concluded and I nodded, relieved that she agreed with me. "But-"

There it was.

"Something did start."

"Dawn, it doesn't matter either way. I probably won't see him again for the rest of my life and I am just fine with that. So please for the love of God, can you be too?"

Dawn groaned as she pulled herself up into sitting position. "Fine." She agreed, "But if that's the case, you should probably get back out there. I can't be the only roommate bringing meat back."

I couldn't help but grin. "The way you objectify men really speaks to me."

She put her hand over her heart dramatically. "No but seriously, if you need me to hook you up with someone I can." I shook my head quickly. "That's okay. I'm actually going to hang out with Lee this weekend."

I lied.

Lee had texted me a couple times here and there since the last night I saw him but I'd never really responded. His messages sat unopened right below Jake's. I felt a weird pull in my stomach and I hated it. Every time I thought of Jake it put my stomach in knots.

Dawn must've believed my lie because she wrapped up the conversation and headed back to her room. Once she was gone I pulled out my phone, my finger hovering over my messages.

Jake was the last to text, only two days ago.

Jake: Hope ur doing okay

I'd never responded. I almost wanted to, but I knew there was no point. Eventually we'd forget about each other and he'd go back to pulling groupies backstage and I'd graduate college or some shit.

Posy thought I should respond to him. She had become a regular correspondent now, texting or calling just to talk. I missed her every time we talked and sometimes I found myself wanting to ask her about Jake, but I didn't.

I clicked on Lee's messages and shot him a quick bullshit text asking what he was doing. He responded fairly quickly and we texted back and forth for a while. It went exactly how I planned with him eventually asking if I was free this weekend.

I told him I was and asked what he had in mind. He wanted to take me out to eat, a proper date- just the two of us. I agreed to it and even threw in a smiley face for extra measure.

I set my phone down after a while and opened back up my laptop in hopes of getting some of my homework done. Not even a couple minutes later my phone began to ring.

It was Jake.

I could ignore it. I could let it ring and ring and ring. I could pretend I never saw it.

I answered it.

There was silence on the other end of the phone and I held my breath. "Hey." He finally spoke, his voice quiet. "Hi."

"I, uh-" He cleared his throat, "I just wanted to let you know I'll be in your town this weekend. Me and Josh are meeting with this guy for a gig they want us to perform at in a couple months."

"Oh." That was all I managed to get out. I wanted to say more. I wanted to tell him that I'd hoped he was doing okay and that-

"I just thought I'd let you know. Maybe we could meet up or something, I don't know." He said quickly. He sounded nervous. "I'm actually busy this weekend, I'm sorry." I answered and I knew I sounded like a bitch.

There was silence again.

"Oh yeah of course. That's fine. Well sorry for bothering you, maybe we can catch up some other time." He finally said.

"Yeah, maybe so."

"What did she say?" I could hear somebody whisper in the background. It sounded like Josh. Jake hissed at him to shut up. "I'll let you go then. Have a nice night Charlie." Jake spoke again. I said goodbye quickly and hung up just as fast.

I couldn't stand myself sometimes.