tongue tied - jake kiszka

23.

It should've been great.

The little outdoor cafe was cute, with big umbrellas over the tables and twinkle lights strung all around. It was already getting dark and the weather had gotten a little cooler, with a soft breeze blowing.

I self consciously reached up to make sure my hair was okay, even though I knew the breeze wasn't strong enough to mess it up. We were all sitting around one of the larger tables and I found myself next to Posy, with Lee on my other side.

And on the other side of Lee was Jake.

I tried to focus on how nice the cafe was, with the lights and the nice weather and the soft music playing over the speakers. But I couldn't get over the fact that Jake and Lee were deep in conversation on the other side of me.

It should've been great, but I was steadily convincing myself that something would go wrong. I hated when I did that. Little ole pessimistic me.

"Hey." Posy whispered to me, nudging her shoulder against mine to get my attention. I drew my eyes away from Lee and Jake, hoping she hadn't noticed. "Lee seems nice. A great conversationalist too, apparently."

She had noticed. The tone in her voice, her raised eyebrows, the little smirk playing on her lips. I nudged her back with my own shoulder, shushing her. "Anyways," I began, "You look good. Doesn't she, Josh?"

Josh, who had been listening in on our conversation, let out a big goofy grin. "She always looks good to me." He pulled Posy in for a kiss, which she happily gave him, her cheeks turning pink. Once she finally pulled away, she let out a breath and tucked her curls behind her ears.

Getting ready to say something.

"You look good too Charlie," She smiled over at me, a hint of something gleaming in her eyes, "Doesn't she, Lee?"

Lee quickly turned his head in our direction, abruptly ending conversation with Jake to look at me. He stretched out an arm, putting it around my shoulders to pull me in close. He smelled strongly of cologne.

"She looks beautiful." He grinned, "That's one of the first things I noticed about her."

"At our show?"

We all snapped our heads over to look at Jake. He gave a curt smile towards Lee, who hadn't seemed to notice his condescending tone. If my eyes could shoot daggers, he'd be done for.

"Yeah man." Lee said enthusiastically, "She was sitting in front of me and I knew I had to say something. And now look at us- on our first date."

"The double date that Posy invited her to?" Jake asked and I could hear Posy inhale sharply next to me. Lee seemed oblivious to it all as he nodded, still smiling wide. "Hey, a date's a date. As long as it's with Charlie, I'm just happy to be here."

"Honestly, I wasn't sure you'd show. I know how difficult Charlie can be." Jake said, taking a bite from his salad nonchalantly. "Oh?" I spoke up suddenly, "Is that why you were planning on picking up both Dawn and I? Because you didn't think my own date would take me?"

Jake looked at me, the first time tonight he had held my gaze for more than a second. Dawn shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I'm sure he didn't mean it like that Char." She said quietly, but even she didn't sound too sure of herself.

"I did." Jake retorted quickly and I wondered why he was being so hateful to me tonight. But I knew. I couldn't pretend like I didn't.

   "Jake, you're being an ass." Posy snapped and Josh's hand immediately went to hers, intertwining their fingers quickly. "I guess I am." Jake let out a content sigh, as though the conversation was going just perfect to him.

   "You are. And it's an ugly look on you." I muttered, pushing away from the table. "I'm going to the bathroom." I hurried from the table, the back of my sandals slapping against my heels loudly.

   What the fuck.

   I followed the restroom sign around to the side of the small building, feeling the soft breeze picking up quickly. Instead of going inside, I pushed myself up against the wall and took a deep breath in.

   I reached into my little purse and pulled out my pack of cigarettes with shaky hands. There was one left and I cursed myself silently for not being prepared with another pack. I brought it up to my lips and tried to light it, but the growing speed of the wind was making it impossible.

   Was it going to rain? "You've got to be fucking kidding me." I muttered, glancing up at the night sky where dark clouds were already forming.

   "Rain wasn't on the forecast."

   I turned my head quickly to look at the approaching figure. "Oh, for fucks sake." I groaned. Jake moved closer, cupping his hand around my cigarette. I glared up at him, but took the opportunity to light it anyways.

   "I'm sorry." He said quietly, pulling his hand away once it was lit. "I don't have another cigarette." I said, returning my gaze back up towards the sky. "I just bought a pack earlier." He said, patting his pocket, "Lucky us, huh?"

   I didn't say anything. "I know we're supposed to be holding each other accountable and all." He spoke again, referring back once again to our conversation the first night we met.

   I didn't want to talk about stupid cigarettes with him. I didn't want to make small talk. I didn't want to talk to him at all. "I'm sorry Charlie, I'm serious." Jake started to say.

   "Then why say all those things?"

   He took a deep breath in, fumbling to open his own pack of cigarettes. "Cause I'm an idiot." I snorted, "Yeah, no kidding. You were rude to me. You embarrassed me in front of my date-"

   "Don't act like you actually like that kid." He cut me off, "You weren't supposed to be here tonight. You wanted me to be with Dawn and that's what I've been doing. Now you want to show up on a double date with some guy you hardly know, looking like that and you expect me not to say anything?"

   "Looking like what?" I seethed.

   "You look fucking beautiful Charlie. Is that what you wanted me to say when Lee's over there gloating about how amazing you look and how that's the first thing he noticed about you? That's the first thing that I noticed about you, but you're not on a date with me, are you?"

   "Why does he get to have what I don't? What makes that kid so special? You push me away every time. I've tried over and over with you. Trying to be your friend cause that's what you want, trying to be with Dawn cause that's what you want. And now I have to sit here and try to be nice too while you're on a date with him?"

   He wasn't looking at me as he said all this, his eyes glued to the cigarette pack as he grappled around to get one out.

   "Lee didn't belittle me in front of everyone. You did." I said firmly, as I reached out and pulled a cigarette from his pack that he was still struggling with. "You don't have to try to be my friend anymore."

   I shoved the cigarette into his hand, noticing something as I did.  "There. We're not friends." I left him standing there as I walked around the building back to the group.

   He was still wearing my hair tie around his wrist.