Chapter 12

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I've been refreshing my email all day stopping only to bite my nails and pace around the room.

In high school, I applied to countless internships. Data analyst positions, software engineer internships, etc. The rejections (and there were a lot of them) really sucked but the results that come out today are from a publishing company. One I'm admittedly not as qualified for.

One I actually care about.

I had a phone interview a week ago and I think it went well. The results are set to come out today.

My hands reach out for a bag of sour gummies that isn't there. I let out a sigh.

Maybe I should meditate. Mia says that helps.

I walk out to the balcony and let the breeze kiss my face. My muscles begin to go slack as I clear my mind.

Peace and calm. Peace and-

"Amelia!"

My fists clench. "I'm busy!" I shout back.

Unclench fists. Close eyes.

Peace and calm-

The door to the balcony slides open so hard, I think it might break for a second.

He doesn't even have to say anything. "What do you want, Zack?"

With a snort, he leans on the balcony ledge beside me. I keep my eyes closed, trying to ignore how I can feel his gaze on me.

"Other than to push you off this balcony?" he says.

My eyes snap open only to soften as he holds out a stuffed turtle holding a bag of sour gummy worms. I tilt my head at it and he holds it out more adamantly. Finally, he sighs, grabs my hand, and stuffs the toy into my palm.

"What's this for?" I say.

"You've been pacing around the apartment like a crazy person all day," he says. His arms rest on the ledge as he looks out at the sky. I can't help but admire his side profile before snapping out of it. "Either you're practicing walking in circles or you're nervous about something."

I start practicing my piano scales on the balcony ledge. Because I didn't want to get my hopes up, I didn't tell anyone I applied. Still, I find the words spilling out.

"I applied for an internship at this amazing publishing company..."


"Zion?" he asks.

I look over at him, tilting my head in question.

"You used to talk about how you wanted to get a book published there," he explains.

"Right," I say. "I'm not super qualified for it and I've been getting rejected left and right but I... I feel like when I was speaking over the phone, they could feel my passion, if that makes sense. So I'm... I'm hopeful. But, like I said, I'm not super qualified-"

"Hey," he says, voice soft. "Don't doubt yourself. You're the most brilliant person I've ever met." He pauses. "You're the only one that doesn't see that."

My hands have clasped together so I force them apart. Closing my eyes, I nod slowly to myself. I know I'm a hard worker and I know that I'm passionate. If it doesn't work out, another opportunity will come.

"It's just... I've never wanted something for myself like this," I say. "If I get this internship, it could be an opening to an entirely new career path and I just want it so bad."

"Then go get it," he says. "It's yours, Amelia. You just gotta be brave enough to take it."

His eyes stare into mine, dark and deep as ever. I used to envy how things seemed to always work out for him. How he could make everything so simple. Because he knew he deserved it.

You know what? I fucking deserve it too.

"I'm gonna go check again," I say. I take a step towards the door then stop. In the midst of my contemplation, I didn't realize I'd been strangling the turtle.

"Here," I say, holding the turtle out to Zack. "I appreciate it but I can't accept it."

"Why not?"

I narrow my eyes. "Because when you give me thoughtful presents like this, it blurs the lines."

He gives me a look. "Seriously?"

"Take care of Horatio," I reply, handing him the turtle.

"Horatio....?" He stares down at the turtle as I start to step away. His chuckle travels in the breeze then I hear, "Uh oh."

I turn around to see Horatio being held over the balcony, seconds from being dropped.

"Zack, stop!" I exclaim, running over to grab him. I reach over the balcony to grab Horatio, pulling back only when I feel Zack's hand on my waist.

My breath catches in my throat as Zack gives me an innocent stare. The thought that I should move his hand away briefly flickers in my mind. He moves his hand away and uses one finger to lift my chin so our gazes meet. I stop breathing as he leans forward so we're mere inches apart.

The edge of his lip curls up the slightest bit. "There she is," he mutters so quietly, I can barely hear it.

He moves away, walking towards the door and tossing Horatio and the gummies to me.

"Come on," he says. "Let's check your results."

I mentally curse at myself before following him in. All thoughts of what just happened are wiped from my mind as I refresh my email another time.

Sure enough, a new email pops in from Zion Publishing.

My heart rate shoots up as I try to prepare myself. Gulping, I click it before I can talk myself out of it.

My eyes race over the words once. Then again.

"So?" Zack asks.

"I got it," I breathe out. "Zack, I got it!"

A flurry of relief and laughter spills out of me as he lifts me up and spins me. When he lets me down, his hands cup my face.

"I'm so proud of you," he says.

Warmth washes over my entire body as I smile back.

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