Complicated feelings | bsd fanfic

Prologue - Trauma

It wasn't even a week since Atsushi came to the agency, when he completed a quest all alone. Even tho its was just delivering a letter to a post office on the other side od the road, he was still proud of himself and so was everyone else in the Agency.

- Well look at that! Our own Atsushi is now a real detective from the Armed Detective Agency! - with these words Dazai approached Atsushi and reached his hand out to pet him.

That's when Atsushis eyes imidietly widened and quickly closed. His pose turned defending with his arms in front and he started slightly shaking.

- Atsushi...?

He opened his eyes to see all the Agency members looking at him concerned.

- Is everything ok? - Dazai put his hand down. Atsushi also turned from defnsive to normal but he was visibly unconfirtable and ashamed of what happened.

- Uh y-yeah I'm fine... I just need to... Umm... G-go to the toilet! Yeah! - he ran out of the room.

He reached the middle od the hallway and put his back against the wall, sliding down a little. He didn't want this to happen. He didn't want the ghosts of his past to haunt him. Never ever did he want others to know what happened to him before the agency! Never!

- Never ever, ever EVER EVER! - He realized he was saying it out loud as tears started to stream down his face.

Meanwhile in the main ada room all members tried to process what just happened.

- I... I'll go find him - Dazai offered to wich he recieved a nod from Kunikida.
He looked in the hallway just to find a grey-haired man shaking in tears.

- Atsushi...

The other snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to reveal his red puffy eyes and a dull look.

- Atsushi what was that about in the Agency? What did they do to you on that orphanage?

(A/N: Atsushi told Dazai and Kunikida his past without the details when they met in this AU)

- I don't want to talk about it...

Dazais expression saddened and without thinking he hugged Atsushi. The other was shocked but after a while he just started sobbing into brunettes shoulder.

- It's ok... Let it all out... Whatever these people from the orphanage were doing was horrible... But it's alright now... You're safe with us I promise...

Atsushi calmed down a little just for Yosano to chcek on them.

- You guys have been here for ages, what is... Oh my, Atsushi are you ok?

- He had a little breakdown but I helped him, don't worry :)

- Oh ok! Kunikida just wanted me to say that Atsushi can have a day off if he wants to.

- T-thanks, I don't think I need it...

- Mk! - and with that, she went back to the office.

Atsushi was still clinging onto Dazais jacket, slightly shaking and trying his best to calm down. Dazai on the other hand was petting him with his left hand and caressing his back with the other one.

Soon enough Atsushis breath was stable and he stopped shaking. He let go of Dazai and walked back to the office with him to just go on with their day.

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Hi there!
I'm really glad you're reading this! The idea was in my mind for a long time and I wrote it in my notes app but it's finally here. This thing will be quite long; idk how often I'll be able to update. Hope to see you soon tho!

~A.A.♡