One Step Ahead Part II | Sirius Black

Chapter 197

Sirius sits upright, leaning back against the headboard.

Gwen is stretched out next to him, her hair crazy and scattered across the pillows and his abdomen. He wants to touch it, wants to touch her. But fuck, if he isn't scared.

He exhales slowly, watching her chest rise and fall evenly. Alive. He'd been up all night to be sure of it. Sirius couldn't even think about closing his eyes. He didn't want to know what he would see if he did.

The Veela stirs slightly in her sleep and Sirius' eyes grow intent on the motion, his gaze lingering on her fingers as they twitch. Alive. His hand migrates closer to hers against his will, reaching for her. He stops short, his fingertips just touching her own as he releases a shaky breath. His heart aches when the girl's face twists in what he knows to be pain, but just as he moves to throw on clothes to go get Regulus, fingers intertwine with his.

He holds his breath, freezes when the being laying next to him slowly opens her eyes. She stares at him, the blue of her gaze like the clearest sky. Unnerving. Beautiful. Merlin, blue was beautiful.

Sirius' eyes grow wide when she begins to move, frozen in fear of her getting hurt as she slowly turns onto her stomach and scoots closer. The ice gripping his heart begins to thaw when she winds her arms around his waist and rests her head on his lap, her head turning to the side so that he can see half of her sleepy face.

Ever so carefully he moves his hands to her hair, his mouth drying at the slight smile that appears on her face as she whispers, "Don't tell me you're scared of me now."

Sirius chuckles quietly, eyes stinging with fresh tears. He clears his throat, successfully wills the emotions to fade as he retorts lowly, "I've always been scared of you."

Gwen's smile grows and she lets out a quiet sigh, looking up at him as he gingerly attempt to untangle her hair. Her happiness falters and Sirius spies a new emotion in her expression as she says, "I won't break, you know?"

Sirius only gets glimpses of her emotions and reactions every so often. He cherishes when he does, memorizes the nuances in her expressions, her tone, her eyes. Her eyes bore her soul to the world, even when to everyone else they were unreadable. He just had to wait, to practice. To become fluent in her language. He was getting there, and it was giving him clarity. This tone, this passiveness, this statement. It wasn't snarky or indifferent or even joking. It was fear.

It was creeping up within her, washing over her like a shallow wave. And for as scared as Sirius was, as apprehensive and horrified by the events that had transpired yesterday, the clarity he had now on her own attitude gave him the strength to be strong for her.

"I know," He says firmly, his hands creeping lower to cup her face. He's steadier this time, confident. Her cheeks feel warm against his palms, and he sees some of the tension leave her. Good. He would do that for her, carry that burden.

Her arms tighten around his back, her eyes clenching shut. Sirius gently caresses the darkened skin below her eyes, his heart aching at the paleness of her skin, the tiredness of her aura. He moves his hands again, this time reminding himself that she won't break as they settle on her shoulders. He gently kneads her muscle with his thumbs, desperate to wash away the new tension she's holding. It works. A tiny sigh escapes the Veela, and then she's melting into him, her smile returning faintly.

Sirius chuckles quietly, whispering, "How's that?"

"Good," Gwen mumbles, brow furrowing when he stops for a moment. Then his hands are on her waist, still gentle but confident as he lifts her halfway up so that her back rests against his front. Gwen fights every twinge of pain from the movement, certain to hide it from Sirius. It fades quickly, a dull, almost fuzzy sensation in her throat when his hands return to her shoulders and start to rub again.

Sirius smiles, a genuine, relaxed smile that feels so good it nearly makes him cry again. Because holding her like this, it could be any regular morning. One where she hadn't nearly been taken from him.

He glides his palms down her arms, grabbing her hands and squeezing them, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to her shoulder. He can feel her smiling too, her energy is practically humming with contentment. He can't resist leaning around her to look, to see her lips quirked up instead of frowning.

She opens one eye, peering at him amusedly. Her voice is still raspy, still an indicator of her injury as she muses, "You feel better."

Sirius blinks at the statement, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He did feel better. But only because he refuses to look at the long, reddish line that now decorates her neck. He bobs his head up and down, mumbling, "Tu m'as fait peur." {you scared me}

Gwen reaches out, gently touches his brow. Sirius quickly returns to his spot behind her, leaning his forehead against her spine so that she may not see the tears that succeed in escaping his eyes. He holds her tighter, thanks the universe a little bit more when she replies gently, "Tu m'as fait peur aussi." {you scared me too}

He doesn't ask when she means, he reckons she wouldn't say anyway. He takes his hands through her hair gently, untangling knots until it lays as close to neat as possible. He presses a kiss to her back, asking hesitantly, "Would you like to get up for a little while?"

Gwen hums her reply, nodding slightly to reaffirm it. Sirius is reluctant to let her out of the bed, but he reckons if he helped her now for a bit, perhaps she would be good about resting for the larger part of the day. It was like playing chess, trying to outwit her. He hopes he can pull it off this time. She needed rest. He needed her to rest.

He slowly withdraws from the spot behind her, quickly pulling on a jumper before digging through her trunk for another. He pauses when his fingers brush glass, his eyes flickering to a familiar object. It's not like he thought she would ever get rid of it, but it's good to see that she has the tiny dog figurine. It would protect her, at least while they were here.

He grabs a jumper and some soft pants, returning to the edge of the bed. He huffs disapprovingly at how fast she has moved on her own, her feet now dangling over the side of the mattress. Sirius carefully pulls down each sleeve over her arm before gently tugging the rest of it over her head.

"Thank you."

He glances up from where he's now knelt by her feet, pulling the legs of her pants on to her ankles. He blinks up at her, surprised to find her eyes shiny and emotional. His heart thumps erratically and he replies firmly, "I love you, Gwenyth. I love you."

Her eyes crinkle are the corners when she smiles, her cheeks tinging pink. She reaches out, playfully tugs on his hair as she replies, "Most people do."

Sirius rolls his eyes, laughing quietly at her flat reply. It's only when he's tucking her feet into blue socks that she finally says, "I love you, Sirius. I'll always come back to you."

He sucks in a desperate breath before leaning up and capturing her lips with his, gentle be damned. She wouldn't break. He wouldn't break. Not so long as they had each other.

His fingers weave through her newly untangled hair, pulling her closer, sealing her mouth to his. He's desperate, needy, so in love that it aches. He wants to tell her everything, that a piece of him died when she got hurt, that his parents were dead, that he stayed up all night just to make sure she would take a new breath, a breath that would keep her here with him. He doesn't. Instead he kisses her, slow and demanding and so loving that he hopes she can just tell. He prays that she understands how munch he needs her.

A low grumbling sound pauses them both, and then they're laughing, foreheads leaning against one another as they laugh until tears of joy stream down their faces.

Sirius lifts up her jumper, settles his hand on her stomach and mumbles, "Let's get you something to eat, Inferi."

The Veela nods, her eyes sparkling with new life as she pecks his lips and murmurs, "Please. I do believe there are people waiting on us."

Sirius doesn't ask. He'll find out soon enough.

He was okay with not knowing all of the answers when it came to Gwenyth Whitlock.