One Step Ahead Part II | Sirius Black

Chapter 198

Gwen is practically giddy when a plate is set down before her, her hand quickly reaching up to grab Mia Potter's.

The witch just smiles, leans down and wraps an arm around the Veela in a half hug. Gwen pats her arm plaintively, her smile borderline dreamy at the display of food on the table. Sirius is sat on her left, gripping her knee under the table.

He wouldn't leave her side, couldn't not touch her. He was constantly checking on her, eyeing the rise and fall of her chest and the color of her eyes. Clear blue, just as they'd always been.

The room is uncomfortably silent, though Gwen didn't mind. She was too excited to eat to notice the way her friends were looking at her.

James Potter looks like he may crumble into nothing when Gwen finally looks up from her toast smothered in jam and stares at him, eyes unwavering. His lip wobbles and Gwen says firmly, "No tears, James."

He nods quickly, and Lily smiles warmly at Gwen, the Veela returning the look knowingly before saying, "I'm fine everyone. You can go back to not worrying about me."

Dorcas hides her smile behind her glass, choosing to not mention the way Sirius is sitting stoically by her side like her bodyguard. Instead, she replies gently, "Glad to see you're okay, Gwen."

"Yes," Gwen says plainly, "I'm sure you are."

Her eyes drift down the table to Regulus, her smile growing when he mutters something exasperatedly to Remus. Something about her health she's certain. Her attention is drawn away when she feels Sirius squeeze her knee, eyes returning to her plate of food. She eagerly takes another bite, chewing thoroughly and feeling more comfortable as light conversations pick up.

"Did you see anything?"

Gwen lifts her eyes at the question, finding that Peter is staring at her with an embarrassed sort of curiosity. She blinks at the question.

"What do you mean, Peter?" Lily wonders when the Veela doesn't answer. The mousy boy's cheeks only turn a deeper shade of red, his eyes flickering down to stare at his plate as he quickly stutters, "Never—I mean don't answer—Sorry, Nin—"

"He means when I died," Gwen quips plainly, sensing Sirius' growing anger from beside her. He's practically glaring daggers at Peter, the boy looking as if he would rather disappear then meet Sirius' gaze. Gwen wasn't bothered by the curiosity however.

"You didn't die," Sirius says vehemently, ignoring the nervous looks that Euphemia and Fleamont were sharing. His grip on her knee was tighter, more desperate. No dying. No speaking of dying. He couldn't take it. He continues angrily, "You didn't, so don't fucking say that again."

"Yes, Sirius," Gwen placates briskly, instead focusing her attention on Peter. Sirius stares at the side of her face, his breathing slowly returning to normal. Though it practically stops when she smiles and answers simply, "Yes."

James' jaw drops and despite Sirius' palpable frustration, James can't help but exclaim, "Ninnie! What did you see!"

Gwen grins at his excitement. Lying was too easy for the Veela. Especially when it would do them good to hear it. Her throat burns when she replies calmly, "The beach."

James' eyes grow round and Lily sighs like a tired parent when he leans forward, voice just above a whisper as he wonders, "Did it look normal? Just like it does in real life?"

Gwen quirks a brow, her head tilting to the side as she slowly reaches under the table to grasp Sirius' clenched fist. He opens up, lets her fingers tangle with his and then gives a squeeze to convey that he's not pleased with this conversation. She was.

She would take this to the grave with her, would swear to James Potter that she didn't just see white when she almost died, that she did see the ocean and didn't just hear it. Hope. Hope that there was something else. Something more. She'd lie again and again if only to preserve the hope that the next place was good.

"What do you mean real life?" Gwen wonders, taking a tiny sip of her water. It hurt to drink, hurt to eat. Lying soothed the ache. James laughs at her question, retorting, "I mean that it's all happening inside your head. Seeing the beach, I mean. So, is it real? Or at least look like it's real?"

Mia looks almost afraid of the Veela's answer, Fleamont's brows furrowing at his son's question. He opens his mouth to speak, likely to change the subject. Sirius has the same idea.

Her brooding boyfriend grunts, voice irritable and flat as he wonders, "Can we talk about anything else please?"

James turns slightly pink, looking apologetic now that he's realized how close Sirius is to hexing his mouth shut. The whole table is on edge. Except for the Veela chewing mindlessly on her toast.

Dorcas quickly nods, replying, "Yes, in fact I was going to ask you—"

Gwen's tone is firm, nearly curt as she interjects, "I'm not finished. Or have I lost the right to speak freely?"

Remus chokes on his tea at the snarky remark, covering up his laugh with coughs as Peter smiles behind his hand. Regulus quirks a brow at Gwen before glancing at Sirius. His brother just sighs wearily and shrugs a little, mumbling, "Sorry, mon ange."

The Veela just nods, her smile growing when Marlene mumbles, "She's going to say something creepy."

The Scottish witch mimes locking her mouth when she receives a flat look from Dorcas and a rather angry one from Sirius. She throws her hands up in defense, earning a chuckle from Fleamont Potter.

James' eyes grow wide when Gwen returns her focus to him, her face smooth and free of any intense emotion. She looks as she always had, and it brings great comfort to him. Despite the conversation they're having. Despite the fact that what she'd seen had only happened inside her head.

It didn't bring great comfort to him. Only because it made sense that someone as magical as Gwen would see something when they almost died. James imagines he wouldn't see much. He'd never been very creative. He freezes when she speaks, as if she's heard what it is he's thinking,

"Of course it's happening inside my head, James,"

The table grows still again. Gwenyth Whitlock was captivating. It's the hint of mischief in her pale eyes, the nonchalance of her tone, the amusement in her tired smile that tells them all that she is okay. That everything is going to be okay.

Sirius' lips reluctantly twitch into a faint smile. He was pleased to hear her say what Marlene would consider creepy. He wanted to hear riddles and flippant words and the absurd things that she had to say. He wanted it, even though he was scared. It was the final reassurance that she was still her, that she wasn't gone.

Gwen's throat doesn't burn this time. This time, she feels almost normal, almost like nothing had happened. Because her friends are all staring at her as if she's insane. And maybe she is. Maybe she's a tiny bit odd. But this time she's not lying. Not about this. Not about her final response to James' question. She believed in this one, knew it was real.

She lowers her voice, leans in slightly as she looks at her friend. He said he wanted her to be a teacher because she would show that sometimes there isn't an answer. He was right, though this time she was happy to share that there was one for those willing to believe in it.

Gwenyth Whitlock grins, pure and happy and fine despite the scar decorating her neck. Her voice is full of both mirth and seriousness as she asks James curiously,

"Why on earth should that mean it is not real?"

{{Gwen had my heart. I didn't edit at all so hopefully there are some funny typos!}}