promise?

21.

tw - abuse

it's the next morning. i wake up, curled in a ball. looking over, jj is a mirror image of me. it's so quiet, it's never this quiet. i lift my head up and look around. everything feels weird. like- somethings off. i don't know. i cant name it. something feels wrong. almost the feeling of wanting to cry or wanting to scream and break things. idk what's happening.

i get up and quietly tiptoe out into the living room. no ones there so i go outside. when i walk out, i don't see the pogues. the twinkie is still here so i look over and there they are, in the boat, just chilling. i walk up to them and they immediately go silent. kie makes eye contact with me but doesn't say anything. as a matter of fact, all the pogues are looking at me weird.

"hey.. guys?" i say.

kie scoffs.

sarah looks at me with a sympathetic look, john b looking at me with a similar face.

"why are you guys all being so weird?" i ask.

"oh come on." kiara scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"wha-" i'm interrupted.

"we know you slept with jj last night y/n." pope says.

is that what they- oh my god.

"i'm sorry- what?!" i shout, trying not to laugh.

sarah looks at me like i'm stupid.

"don't play dumb." kiara says.

"i didn't sleep with him!" i yell.

"you are such a piece of shit y/n!" kiara yells back, pushing herself out of her seat.

"excuse me?!" i shout.

at first this was funny to me but now it's too far. you know what? kiara has seemed to have a problem with me since jj and i broke up. she did the same fucking thing to pope- she manipulated him. AND JOHN B-

"you do shit and then make up excuses! jj may not see it but we see through all your enlightened bullshit!" she shouts.

"what the hell is your problem?! you've been such a bitch since me and jj broke up! what the hell did i do to you?!" i yell.

she scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"OH COME ON Y/N! THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU! THIS ISNT ABOUT ME! THIS IS ABOUT POGUES FOR LIFE!" she screams.

her words make me scoff.

"okay well- IF THIS IS ABOUT POGUES FOR LIFE THEN WHY CANT YOU FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I DID TO JJ?!" i scream back, my voice getting louder as i speak.

"YOU HAVE CONTINUED TO LEAD HIM ON!" she screams.

"OH MY GOD- THATS BULLSHIT KIE! YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH JJ FORGIVING ME THEN LETS TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID TO POPE! AND JOHN B?!" i scream.

pope's face saddens, john b's face does the same, although sarah's face turns to curiosity.

"what?" sarah asks john b, innocently.

"YEAH YOU DONT GET TO ACT INNOCENT! YOU PLAYED BOTH OF THEM, AND YOU MANIPULATED POPE AS LONG AS YOU COULD!"

"y/n.." kiara starts.

"NO! YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT POGUES FOR LIFE?! FINE! LETS TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU HAD YOUR KOOK PHASE AND FORGOT ABOUT US ALL! OR WHEN YOU IGNORED US BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO GOOD! OR WHEN BIG JOHN WENT MISSING AND YOU WERE TOO CAUGHT UP IN YOURSELF TO EVEN CHECK UP ON JOHN B! SO YEAH, POGUES FOR LIFE!" i scream.

a tear drops from her face.

"i-" she says, being interrupted.

"you didn't even apologize kie, but because you're our family, we let you back in immediately. i don't wanna hear shit from you about pogues for life." i say.