For The Despaired Who Met Himself Brimming With Happiness

Chapter 4

For all the years Choi Han had lived his life, it had never been peaceful even for once. He never had the time to laugh with other people, and the fact that he would live for another hundreds of years is just plain depressing.

And to add to his misfortunes, he was dragged to a war not of his original world, but in another.

He deeply misses his parents, his grandparents, his uncles and aunties, cousins and the only nephew he knew who was only eight years younger than him back then, Choi Jung Soo.

Choi Han sometimes wonder how is he now, if his family is still teaching their descendants of their traditional sword art.

He even wondered if he were to come back, would they still know him? Or he would meet his great great grandchildren(he only chuckled somberly at that thought).

He could still remember the bloodbath, the faces of his companions who fought with him and faces of the citizens who believed in him.

It was a heavy burden, and Choi Han never wanted to shoulder those kind of emotions that was sent to him.

He could remember that wicked smile and how he slain countless people with it. That crimson hair, the reddish brown eyes, a man called White Star.

And Choi Han did something he never thought he could do that still haunted him 'till the depths of his emotions.

He killed that world's Cale Henituse because of a one-sided belief that him and the White Star is the same man.

How foolish.

Despair is a scary thing, but regret is the most frequent emotion Choi Han had felt that it hurts to continue living.

The regret of not saying I love yous in his family not knowing it would be his last time seeing them.

The regret of not being strong enough to protect.

The regret of hurting and killing.

Those eyes that stared and pointed at him saying it's all his fault.

Choi Han seldomly wondered why people believed in him in the first place but then turn their backs the moment he failed at something.

He could vividly remember the eyes that looked at him with no remorse.

"Choi Han."

"What now? Will you confess to your crimes?"

"I confess...to thank you."

"What?"

"Thank you...for fighting for us until the end. Thank you...for beating me up back then..."

Choi Han became silent, because who in the hell thank someone who got beaten up? Apparently, Cale Henituse.

"I-It's not your fault. The Henituse Household doesn't blame you for all things you can't do. I'm sure Basen and Lily thinks so too if they are here."

Right, Choi Han couldn't save them in time back then at the attack of Indomitable Alliance.

"Stop..."

"Really...thank you...Choi Han..."

"Stop spouting those things..."

"I wish we could meet in good terms next time."

"Stopㅡ!"

Choi Han started to tremble uncontrollably, the hands that held the hilt of his sword were raised against Cale Henituse's chest...and oh God, it was impaled against the redhead.