The Hockey Players Sister

Even the Memories Still Hurt

*Leah's P.O.V*

"What did I say about head placement!!? God you're damned, some days I wonder if you still come with the same state champion attitude!"

His hand gripped onto my chin tightly, forcing me to look upwards. My glossy eyes meeting his sharp dark ones. Tears falling down from my eyes onto his hand that was tightly grabbing my chin. It would sure make a mark.

"Stop crying. Or do I need to put you back in the class with the 3 year olds? You're pathetic." Brad said harshly.

I squeezed my eyes shut, a hard force landed on the side of my face making me gasp out in pain. If his harsh grip on my chin didn't leave a mark, that surely would.

"Why do I even bother with you? Drop down and hold a plank, don't come down till you've stop crying."

I finally opened my eyes and shook my head going into plank position, I tried hard to stop crying but it only made it worse. Sucking in hard breaths I sobbed

"God you're a pathetic excuse for an athlete," a heavy foot pressed on my butt causing me to struggle to stay in plank position,"and keep your butt down Leah."

Tears streamed down my face. I told myself I wouldn't do this again. Cry, I always cried at the gym. It just happened, I would do some sort of exercise that would bring back old gymnastics memories. Memories i tried desperately to forget. Luckily the weight room was always empty. Well almost empty.

I dropped out of the plank I was holding and looked at the receptionist. She looked at me in pity, she knew to never ask questions but always felt bad for me as if she knew it was a battle for me to even come here.

Truth was it was a battle everyday. I hated conditioning but I knew I needed it, my body had already gotten so much weaker sense I quit gymnastics and it was showing. So I suffered the same mental battle in the gym everyday and cried, sometimes had a panic attack. But the gym was always empty in this part of town and it gave me some reassurance to know no one would ask questions. I had to stay in shape even if it meant having tears and panic attacks.

"Are you following the diet?" He asked looking me up and down.

"Yes." I replied quietly feeling called out

"Shorted your meals Leah you're getting fat." He said with no remorse in his voice

"But im-"

"No arguing, I know whats best for MY athletes. I can not only see your lunch but your breakfast too."

"But I didn't eat lunch." I said softly hugging my stomach.

"Then maybe you should have skipped breakfast too." Coach Brad said heartlessly.

I scuffed to myself before placing a weight on the bar getting ready to do squats. I wiped a quick tear from my face and looked in the mirror. God I was a mess. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair was in all directions from working out. Behind me in the mirror I watched the door to the gym open. Who the hell was here? No one ever came to this gym when I was here.