𝕻𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖚𝖑𝖚𝖒 - [𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲]

𝐱𝐱𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺-𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 — twenty twenty-three

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 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 pass in the blink of an eye; it could pass by so quickly that one would struggle to understand just how they'd gotten so far. For some others, five years could drag on as though it were centuries; it could feel as though you were wading through thick honey and held back at every single turn, wishing that time would either speed up or cease to exist at all.

 For Emilia, it was the latter case. Time felt as though it wasn't progressing at all, as though each day was stretched to last a long and miserable lifetime. The only indication that time was continuing at all, was the face of little Morgan Stark.

 Emilia had been there for every milestone, every birthday; even the little girl's first word... Which happened to be DUM-E; one might say she was rather partial to Tony's inventions.

 But at the moment, time was nothing more than a heavy weight threatening to topple Emilia over. Nothing had helped her, no amount of distractions, no mission nor night off had allowed Emilia to feel as though she were... Real. She felt distant from everything and everyone, like a mere breath of air passing them by as people tried to live their lives in the midst of chaos.

 Helping people brought her some solace, a means of transferring her pain, guilt and anger into something productive; something she wouldn't hate herself for later. From assisting Bruce within a messy lab until he could command his body to expand and turn a ghastly shade of green all the while keeping his rage in check, to helping train new sorcerers within Kamar-Taj, protecting the Sanctum as best she could without crumbling at the very sight of it, and, of course, helping Tony potter around in a lab all while keeping the littlest Stark from getting her sticky little hands on his inventions.

 She felt as though there was a wall between herself, and those surrounding her.

 It might have become easier to deal with, the grief, that is. With Her lab partner back by her side as a friend she knew she could lean on, with Tony always cracking his sly jokes as a disguised form of care. Pepper had become somewhat of a crutch for Emilia, as had Morgan... But she still felt as though she was a mere passing moment in their lives, something that stayed stagnant, soon to be forgotten.

 Emilia's therapist had professed that Emilia was the cause of the distance; the one who was trying to protect herself from experiencing further loss. But Emilia was already too tangled in the lives of others for that statement to truly be accurate.

 If she lost any of them; Bruce, Tony, Morgan, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Nebula, and even Natasha despite the distant relationship they had, Emilia would feel it just as one would feel a knife to the heart. Distance hadn't worked, because deep down Emilia Clemente needed people, and she needed to be needed.