The Scholarship Girl

m a r i g o l d

marigold : pain and grief.

check for triggers : mentions of sexual assault and panic attack.

Atelophobia, specific type of phobia, an anxiety disorder characterized by a persistent and excessive fear of an object or situation.

No one in this world is free from imperfections and flaws. In fact, these flaws are the one that make us different from each other, award us a sense of uniqueness. 

Then why do we curse the flaws? Why do we blame ourselves for something that is perfectly natural?

These were some questions that Xavier hadn't asked. But his essence craved for these answers.

More so, when he found out the bane of his existence, Jackelyn Queen, half naked in his room and her sinister smile adorning her gorgeous face, but alas, this beauty was only external as her personality was filled to the brim with malice and viciousness.

Xavier could practically visualize the colour draining from his near-perfect face, as icy terror gripped his heart. His heart picked up pace and sweat beads adorning his forehead. He gripped the door handle and pressed the panic button installed.

His mind and heart screamed hate. Hate towards himself, for not being strong. For not being perfect. For showing a wide display of emotions, when he's not comfortable with sharing them. Hate for not conforming to the society's standards.

Jackelyn's sick smile grew, knowing the effect she had on Xavier. He oozed power and authority, but as he met his past, his body went into an overdrive and couldn't deal with fear.

Xavier's mother, who happened to be at home, rushed quickly to him as the signal from the panic button had alerted the whole house. She held him gently and directed her gaze to Jackelyn, understanding what exactly triggered Xavier.

Soon some security personnel and servants had rushed to his room, all of them understanding the situation at hand. Few of the maids went inside, ushering Jackeyln out of his room. She picked her trench coat, covered herself and went out with a smirk, knowing that she had accomplished what she wanted. She wanted to strike fear in Xavier and she only had to do one thing to do so. Remind Xavier of his past. What she had done with him. With force, without his consent.

The faint opening and closing of the door could be heard, indicating Xavier's dad had come home. The signal alerted the house, and all of their family members through a  phone notification.

Elisa, Xavier's mom was holding him gently, urging him softly to count to 10 and whispering words of encouragement to him, when his dad came and watched his son and wife. Roman dropped his briefcase, and went near them, hugging Xaveir's body, and this gesture of this caused a great sense of comfort to Xavier's mind. He was enveloped with a sense of comfort and security, as his body started showing signs of regularity.

His sister, Tessa and his brother, Colton, came shortly afterward when they found their little brother and parents in the living room. They quickly seated next to them, wearing worried expressions and waiting for either Xavier or Elisa to begin.

Elisa replied, "She was in his bedroom."

And that's all everyone needed to know who she was referring to.

Rage was clear on his dad's face, his calm demeanor was only more frightening.

His mom was still having her arm around him, rubbing his arm as tears flowed down her face.

Tears she shed for her child, who went through such a traumatic experience at such a young age. Tears shed for Xavier, who lost his carefreeness and innocence. Tears she shed because her child was undergoing such pain and fear, and she felt helpless.

Xavier, was now out of his panic attack. Raw fear and helplessness on his face replaced by his signature stone cold look, that concealed his inner feelings. Helplessness, hatred, fear.

He shrugged of his mother's arm, and cleared his throat and went to his room without another word.

But as soon as his face met the pillow, tears fell from his eyes. He did not want to be alone, he wanted to he with his family right now, soaking up there warmth. But he reprimanded himself not too.

I can do this. Stop being a baby. You're old. You're embarrassing yourself and others around you.

But what he could not fail to comprehend that it was okay.

It was fine to seek help. But this concept never really grasped him.

He was just 14.

He was just a child.

He didn't deserve such cruely and backstabbing.

He did not wish for such trauma and pain.

He only wanted to enjoy a party, held by one of the popular boys in his elite society. He was full of life and he distinctly remembered him being so giddy about going to his first adult party, packed with music and alcohol. It was his first and his parents finally allowed him to go.

He ordered his drink, and briefly went to greet his friend, the host, and when he turned around he consumed his drink, not knowing it was spiked.

He briefly felt the world around him spinning as his speech slurred. His stomach feeling all weird. And then suddenly, someone held his hand and led him to the nearest room. He remembered resisting the person, but he couldn't do much because he felt drowsy and confused.

And then Jackelyn raped him.

Jackelyn who was supposed to be his best friend.

The same person who had been the daughter of his father's then-friend. The families were closely woven and spent their weekends together.

But Queens got trapped in a vicious of circle of greed and desire.
The lust for authority and power.
The craving to be on top of the chain and to be dominant.

They instructed their daughter to rob the family of their light. The young boy. Their weakness.

And she did. First few weeks, following their plan, she became close to him and convinced his parents to let him come to the party.

She had dug her claws way too deep inside Xavier. Gave him such pain and fear. She had a stronghold on him and he just hated how much she affected him. Hated himself for not manning up.

Xavier slept somewhere between his silent cries muffled by the prisitne white pillows.

But with a small smile.

A smile unknowingly graced his lips as he remembered the cute brunette and the study 'date' they had.

There was atleast something to look forward too.

|unedited|