Mine - A Newt Imagine

35

You awoke with a pounding in your temples and an aching in your head.
You groaned and pushed yourself up, muscles searing at the simple movement.
You squinted around you, your surroundings were shrouded in darkness, trees casting flickering shadows across the uneven floor. The wind careened through the forest leaving behind only the whispers in the leaves as they fell to the forest floor.
You noticed a tree stump not far from you, upon it lay a knife and a rectangular piece of wood.

The wind showed no mercy as it whipped at your arms and legs, leaving goosebumps and a chill that buried itself into your bones like a body buried in the dirt.
You drew your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around yourself, scrunching your eyes shut in the hope that when you opened them again your nightmares would have dissolved into nothing more than ash or shadow.

When you opened your eyes to find yourself still locked in the cage, your surroundings void of Newt, that was when you broke down.
Tears pooled in your eyes as awful thought crashed around your head.
I'm never getting out of here. They won't find me. I don't even know where I am. What if Newt tries something again.

With aching limbs and a barely beating heart you swivelled slowly around to face the padlock.
The metal was rusting and flaking, weak but still holding.
You reached out a trembling hand and tried to stop shaking, hunger pains raking your body as you clawed at the rust with your nails; sharp pieces of metal jabbing at the sensitive skin at the end of your fingers.

After a few minutes of scrabbling and scraping a piece of metal about the size of your index finger snapped off and fell with a thunk onto the cage floor. You picked it up and surveyed it through watery eyes. Holding the corner you ran your finger along the sharp edge of the blade; blood sprang to the cut on the pad of your thumb, you swiped it away.

The next few minutes were a blanked out blur.
You lowered the blade to the skin just above your knee, pressing down you drew across, slicing open your skin.
Cutting your way out of yourself.
What an awful thing it is to be trapped in your own body, held victim by your thoughts and chained by your tears.
You lifted the blade again before bringing it back down, cutting over and over, changing to the other leg and then onto your arms.

You screamed at the world, your words were snatched away by the wind as tears streaked down your face.
"I hate you!" you roared "I hate you! Just let me die! Make it stop! I don't want to do this anymore!" You screamed until your throat was raw and you'd ran out of tears. Your hands were clamped around the bars, having no idea how they got there you prised them open, picking up the blade again you realised that it was stained with your blood.

You looked at your inner wrist. Blue veins snaked across the pale skin.
This was one of the only parts of your body left unscarred.
You lowered the blade and touched it lightly to your wrist.
"I'm sorry Newt." You whispered "I tried, I really did. And I just want you to know that I love you. And I know you can't hear me. But I wanted to say it."

You put pressure on the blade and it dug into your pure, soft skin drawing blood immediately. It was a different kind of pain. You cut again.
After a few more times you began to feel dizzy. A few more and the world started to cloud.
"Newt..." Your voice was barely audible above the howling wind.
You dropped the blade to the floor.
You didn't feel cold anymore.