Across the Hall | L.S

Chapter 45

~ Harry's POV ~ 

I am extremely nervous. 

Right now we are on the way to Doncaster, Louis wants me to meet his family and I am extremely scared. What if they don't like me? What if his mum takes one look at me and realises that I'm not good enough for her son? I cant go through that again... 

The uncertainty of what is going to happen when we get there is completely eating me up inside, I haven't let go of Louis' hand for the entire journey, he has been softly rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb in an attempt to soothe my anxiety away but its not really working. 

I tried to convince him to go home by himself but he wasn't having it, two whole hours we spent going back and forth about the reasons I shouldn't go but all the points I made were futile. I may be stubborn but he really goes above and beyond in that department, so here we are on the way to his mothers house with no idea of what will happen. 

Louis has been so supportive the past few days, he just hung out patiently on set while I worked on the campaign I was booked on. There were a couple of times where the girls were attempting to flirt with me and some of them even thought he was my assistant but Louis quickly set them straight by coming up to me mid conversation, slipping his hand in mine while looking at the other models dead in the eye. 

It was funny and a little adorable that he still seems to be jealous even after everything we have gone through to be together. I damn near had a heart attack when we were on the London eye and saw that ring. I thought he was going to propose and I had to bite onto my tongue so hard to stop myself from blurting out the word yes. 

Every time I look at the ring my stomach is filled with butterflies all over again, having it on my finger is so comforting and makes me feel loved. I don't want someone to take that love away from me even though I know I don't really deserve it. Louis could do so much better than me, someone who isn't defective and for the life of me I cant figure out why he chose me. 

Why did he chose me to love when he could have anyone else?

I still haven't asked him what he is going to do after graduation, even with the promise he made me I am afraid because promises are just words that the wind can sweep away, breaking them and leaving the pieces scattered on the horizon. 

Well I guess this little impromptu visit to his home will probably clear things up in that department, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to have an answer to that question yet. While yes the question has been burning a hole in my throat and has kept me up for several nights, if the answer is he wants to live in England then I think Id rather not know and live in denial. 

Denial is a beautiful thing sometimes, it allows you to keep living the life you were given like you're in a protective bubble of uncertainty, completely blind to everything going on around you but someone always has to come along and pop that bubble, that's what I'm afraid of. 

The train came to a stop and my heart fell to my shoes as the little woman on the train intercom announced that we had arrived at Doncaster station, meaning we had to get off and start making our way to his mums house. 

Everything in me was telling me to start running, my heart was beating so hard against my ribcage right now that I could literally see my t-shirt shaking. But Louis gave my hand a squeeze and pulled me up off of my seat. 

"Its going to be okay Harry, my mum isn't like yours okay? Just try to relax and remember that I love you." he tried to reassure me as we stepped onto the platform, I blew out a shaky breath while looking down at the silver ring on my finger and ended up nodding.