Chapter 12

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TW in the description
Thank you to skyellux_ and mindie_arts for these images!

Mattias POV

Mattias watched as everyone slowly fell to sleep. Everyone except Eshe. He looked over at the Rusalka as she actively watched the TV. He noticed that she wasn't rooting for any particular team, only that they hit each other as hard as possible.

"You've never seen American football before?" He asked in a whisper. Luca and Alberto were asleep, leaning against one another. And Giulia was sleeping with her head on the arm of the sofa.

Eshe shook her head.

"No, this is my first time."

"You've like rugby then," Mattias said.

"What is rugby?" She asked, interested.

"It's like American football, but with no pads or helmets. They hit a lot harder."

"I want to watch rugby then." She said with a manic excitement in her eyes.

The game came to an end, and Eshe wasted no time in going to her room and remove the silver dress. Mattias looked over that the trio asleep on the sofa. He sighed.

"You're like little kids." He breathed as he gathered some blankets in his arms. He placed one over Luca and Alberto. Alberto gave a loud snore but didn't stir. Then he gently placed a blanket over Giulia. His hand lingered on her shoulder. A strand of curly red hair fell over her face. Mattias reached for it but hesitated, his hand frozen in mid-air.

"This is wrong, and you know it." He scolded himself.

These thoughts had been running through his mind ever since they had arrived at Lake Como. Every time he tried to distance himself from Giulia, they ended up joking and laughing together anyway. Anytime he tried to sit separate from her, she nuzzled into his arms... and he didn't have the strength to push her away.

"I'm pathetic." He thought.

An urge crept into his body, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"I want a smoke. Just one cigarette." But he would never let himself. He had quit smoking almost six years ago. Only when his emotions were a mess did he ever crave them.

Mattias threw a few more logs in the fire in the living room before stepping on the balcony that overlooked the Lake. The cold hit him in the face like a slap. It sent pleasant shivers up his spine. His breath fogged instantly in front of him. The cold helped to keep the cravings away.

It also helped clear his mind of things he shouldn't be thinking about.

But that all amounted to nothing when a soft voice spoke behind him.

"Mattias?"

He sighed before turning.

"It's cold. You should be inside." He said to Giulia as she walked to stand by him on the balcony. She had the blanket warped around her body, the end of it dragging on the ground.

"It's not that bad." She said, smiling at him. A couple of snowflakes blew into her face, sticking to her eyelashes.

Mattias forced himself to look away. This was torture. And he was torturing himself by letting it continue.

"What's wrong?" Giulia asked.

"Nothing. Just a lot on my mind." He lied. Why was it so hard for him to tell her to go away?

But in his heart, he knew the answer. It was because he didn't want her to go.

"Mattias, I have to tell you something," Giulia said, her voice shaking a little from the cold.

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