Jiang Cheng deserves a break

Chap 8: Jiang Cheng has a Crisis part2

A/n: trigger warning for this chap includes;
A character using the word 'cutsleeve' as an insult,
homophobic language,
Angry bouts of yelling,
Character's intense self-loathing
And a character's sexuality crisis

You have been warned

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Jiang Cheng's Pov:

One would think that a man who was in his late thirties should have himself figured out. Afterall, that's three decades of life experience. So surely, Jiang Cheng shouldn't be having a crisis over anything at this age, right?

Right?

No. The answer is a definite, no.
See, it started out with a (totally) harmless conversation:

"You know *Qixi jie is in two months time, the letters will be flooding in very soon." Shu Jinghua reminded, smirking slightly when Jiang Cheng made an annoyed grunt sound. Unfortunate.

As the both of them are conversing, two servants wheel in a cart with three tall stacks of papers. They stop the cart in front of the desks, and with great struggle they worked together to empty out everything and placed them neatly in rows. Quietly, the servants left with the cart.

Jiang Cheng took one look at the workload and massaged his forehead with his left hand. "Could we not bring this up right now?" He said, wanting to change the topic, "The less we talk, the quicker we will finish today's paperwork." He glared pointedly at the stack of papers placed in front of him and his advisor.

Madam Shu's small smirk was replaced with a knowing one. She acts oblivious to the sudden change of topics and picks up the first report and an ink brush. "Is there by any chance someone special has caught leader Jiang's eye?"

Jiang Cheng purposefully ignored her and started his work. However, Jinghua is relentless in her questions and doesn't leave him alone, much to his chagrin.

"Will you be attending the festival?"

"No." He was too busy.

"Are you hoping someone will write to you?"

"No." There wouldn't be a point, the maidens who write to him might not even fit his requirements.

"Do you plan on writing letters to anyone?"

"No." Yes...but he shouldn't...

After that question, Madam Shu became quiet, too focused on her paperwork to continue her inquries. Somehow even though she was the one talking the most, Madam Shu had already finished looking through four reports while Jiang Cheng was still on his first.

Jiang Cheng sighed internally and hoped she would drop their conversation altogether.

Because heaven forbid that he lets himself be vulnerable for a change and sort out his damn feelings.

"What about Master Hua? Are you thinking of writing a letter to him?" Jinghua asked suddenly, much, much later.

The ink brush that Jiang Cheng had been holding jerked to a halt, causing a large spot to form on the paper. A lump formed in his throat and he had trouble forcing out his words, "W-what? Master who?"

Jiang Cheng guessed that his advisor wasn't even aware of her own question. They had underestimated how truly heavy the workload was (and what they had now doesn't even make up for the rest of the week), and it was a taxing ordeal on the both of them afterall.

To prove his point, Jinghua suppressed a yawn with the back of her hand. She dries the ink with her breath then closes the booklet, and moves on to the next one. "Hm, I recall his birth name was *Hua Yuan. While his courtesy name is *Yongrui. His cultivation is quite high, and I have heard that he is a very polite and charming fellow."