confessions -gawsten

Drugs, Alcohol, Sex

If Awsten could tell you 3 things she hated about normal teenage life it would be

Drugs
Alcohol
and
Sex.

It was so expected from them. Awsten couldn't even be in Geoff's room without the door open. He would never dream of having sex at such a young age, especially before marriage. That's just not a very godly way to do things, he needed to keep his innocence. However, as much as Awsten loved Geoff, he knew Geoff would be going to hell. They would be nowhere near each other after death and Awsten didn't want to risk going.

They were driving to the party that Awsten had finally agreed to go to. He decided that maybe it would be fun, but as soon as they pulled up she realized it was a mistake. Awsten looked down at his fit, blue jean shorts and a pink shirt with his light blue tinted star glasses. Geoff said he looked cute which made him blush. They jumped out of the car and walked up to the booming house.

"Will you stay with me the whole time?" Awsten looked up at him, watching him nod as they entered.

Okay.

Maybe.

Just maybe Awsten sinned a little bit and became what he hated. Awsten gripped onto his cup as they sat in a tight knit circle, a bottle in the middle. This was so bad, but thankfully it hadn't landed on anyone near him yet. Awsten took a sip of his drink, it tasted like... bad, but good. He liked it. Rebellion.

"Aws!" Otto yelled, drawing his attention. It was his nickname with Geoff, but also with everyone else. With being AFAB his name was still Austyn, so it worked.

"Oh.." Awsten gulped, maybe that's why it hadn't landed on him! He leaned over to the bottle, gripping its sides with his lanky fingers and spun. It spun for what felt like ages, spinning and spinning, pointing at every kid in the circle. Until it began to slowly stop and he looked up, coming straight contact with Geoffrey. Now everyone was looking at them and Awsten didn't know what to feel. His heart started pounding.

"Do we really have to do this?" Geoff asked, taking another swig of his drink. Everyone knew they were best friends, how couldn't they? Geoff and Awsten, Geoff and Awsten. Always Geoff and Awsten. He heard everyone yell back at Geoff, watching him sadly approach Awsten.

"It's okay, Aws. It'll be just a little peck, just like we did in kindergarten." Geoff tried to smile it off, but it went straight to a frown. He forgot that they 'dated' in kindergarten.

Kindergarten.

That was so long ago..

"Honey I'm home!" Geoff pretended to open the fake door to their house that was the entrance of the play area.

"Hi! Im in the kitchen, making you b'eakfast- I mean- wunch- I mean dinnuh.." Awsten said, he had a very bad speech problem when he was younger. He put the fake plastic grapes in the microwave and then began to wash the fake dishes.

"What are we eating?!" Geoff ran to the table and sat down. It was a white plastic one with those thick yellow chairs.

"G'apes!" Awsten smiled, giggling at herself, "dey awe cooking! Can you howd f-f-fa baby?" Awsten grabbed a baby that was on the ground and cradled it in his little arms.

"Yes, wife." Geoff smiled and reached out for the baby as she gave Geoff the baby, "what is... what is baby gonna eat? Baby can't have g-g-grapes!"

"Uhm.. I don' know. Mommy feeds g'acie wif hew boob." Awsten shrugged, he didn't really know what a boob was, but she knew a boob was attached to his mom and that's how she fed her little sister.

"What is a boob?" Geoff whisper yelled.

"I... don' know! My mommy has two of fem! It is so weiwd." Awsten turned back to his grapes and grabbed them then dropped them.

"AHHHH! OW MY FINGEWS! HUSBAND HEWP MY FINGEWS ON FIWE!!" Awsten yelled and threw himself on the ground, his teacher looking at them very confused.

"Oh no! Wife!" Geoff jumped up and put the baby down then grabbed Awsten's hand and blew on his fingers. Awsten giggled, but quickly stopped and pretended to cry. Maybe little Awsten did crush on Geoff too, but they were 'dating'.

"Husband... My fingews! Dey huwt!" Awsten frowned.

"I fix." Geoff grabbed Awsten's fingers and kissed the tips of them.

"Yay!" Awsten sat up, "fank you husband!" he grabbed Geoff's face and gave him a quick kiss. Geoff gasped,

"We kissed! That means we reallly are married now." Awsten nodded in agreement before he felt a grab on his tiny arm.

"Hey! No kissing! That's very gross, you can't do that." His teacher was so mean. He looked back at Geoff with a frown on his face.

He stared at Geoff in the eyes, it wouldn't be the same. They thought kissing meant they were married. Awsten slowly leant in, being met by Geoff's lips. God they were so soft and all he could taste was the stupid alcohol. He felt Geoff's hand move down his neck, getting too close to his chest. Too close. Too close, he felt Geoff try to push his tongue into Awsten's mouth, but his eyes flickered open and he pushed Geoff away.

For the first time ever, he pushed Geoff away. Awsten got up and looked around, his breath began to quicken as everyone looked at him, he looked down. Was Geoff mad? Geoff was never mad at him so he never actually knew what Geoff looked like when he was mad at Awsten, but he looked super annoyed. She ran off, out the door, down the street, took a slight turn then stopped and sat on the curb. Geoff was so mad. God was probably mad. His parents would be mad too. He was going to hell, Geoff was so close to touching him privately and he probably would've liked it. He really would've liked it, but he couldn't. She decided she would go to confessions tomorrow. Geoff's tongue was basically in her mouth, she probably shouldn't be kissing boys. It felt so sexual, he didn't wanna be sexual.

"AWSTEN!!" He heard yelling from all the way on the other side, "AWSTEN!" Awsten didn't wanna go, he felt so dirty, he was going to be in so much trouble. Awsten began to sob. Geoff probably was so mad.