Studio 22

Chapter 5:

Chloe:

Just when I left my dressing room to go home, I heard them. Beca and Jesse were fighting in her office. I didn't want to eavesdrop and quickly left. I just heard something about her not feeling supported by him. On the way back to my apartment I thought about the way Beca and I had danced together. For me, it didn't feel like colleagues dancing professionally. Tonight, this had been something else. Something more. I saw it in her eyes. I called Aubrey. I had to talk to someone. It was Friday night and I hoped that she would still be up. She picked up and I asked her to meet me at my place. When I opened the door to my apartment, Aubrey was already sitting on my sofa, two glasses of wine ready on the coffee table. She turned around and smiled at me, patting the sofa next to her.

"Okay, now tell me everything.", she said once I had sat down. I had told her I wanted to talk about Beca on the phone already.

"I don't know where to start. I have feelings for her, Bree." I admitted.

"I already knew that, Chlo. So, what is going on between you two?"

"Do you remember the night of my first show?" I asked and continued without waiting for her answer. "What we did at the end of the song wasn't in the choreo. She wasn't supposed to move her hand over my body like she did."

"Okay. And did you talk about this?" Aubrey calmy asked.

"Kind of. I thought she just got carried away by her passion for dancing, until something like this happened again. I was performing a new number, improvising, and tried to incorporate her more, because she was sitting on a stool singing. Again, we seductively danced with each other and by the time she ended the song, her lips were so close to mine, I thought she was going to kiss me right there on the stage. After the first 'moment' we had, she told me she had a boyfriend. I respected it, but then she did this and now I don't know what to do anymore... I saw the desire in her eyes."

"Oh, Chloe. You need to try and keep your distance from her. You're only going to get hurt if you fall for her.."

"I know, Aubrey. How am I supposed to do it though? I have to work with her."

"If she does something like that again, confront her. Tell her you don't want her to do these things." Aubrey suggested.

"That's the thing, Aubrey. I DO want it. I can't help it. I know it's wrong because she is taken, but when we're dancing that way, my brain shuts off."

                                        ~

Two days later, I had a rehearsal with Beca alone again. I entered the club, got changed and went to find Beca on the stage, but when I entered the stage it was empty. Beca had never been late. I waited ten minutes for her and then went to find her. There was really only one place she could be. Through the door to her office, I heard quiet sobs. I gently knocked on the door.

"Beca? Are you in there?"

The sobbing stopped and a few minutes later, she opened the door. Her eyes still red and puffy. It was obvious she had been crying, even though she was trying to hide it.

"Oh, hey Chloe. I lost track of time. I'll be on stage in a few minutes.", she tried to say as nonchalantly as possible. I went back and waited for her to show up. When she still wasn't coming, I went to check on her again. The door to her office was open and she was sitting at her desk. Her head was resting on her arms on the table. I slowly walked into her office.

"What's wrong?" I asked, startling her when I gently put a hand on her back.

"Nothing. It's fine. You weren't supposed to see me that way.", she said while looking at me weakly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked tentatively. I didn't want to cross any boundaries.

"No. I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"Beca. You were the one who told me that we're like a big family and that I could always talk to you if I had any issues. Now you obviously have one, so.. talk to me."

"I guess I said that, huh?", she chuckled. "I had a fight with Jesse earlier. It's not that big of a deal."

"She said crying in her office." I commented her statement. "You had another fight?"

"Another?", she questioned confused.

"I heard you two fighting a few nights ago when I left." I admitted, hoping she wouldn't be mad.

"Things aren't going so well lately... I would wish for him to support me more and he keeps promising me, but nothing really changes. I love him, but recently I don't feel connected to him anymore."

"Do you just want to vent, or do you need my opinion on this?" I didn't just want to give her my advice when she hadn't asked for it.

"I think, I just want someone to talk to. Someone who listens... I feel so overwhelmed by all of this and the fact that Jesse isn't doing anything to help, just makes me feel even more lost. The past few weeks were just so intense. I have to keep track of the finances- thank goodness that Jo is helping me with that now-, I have to come up with new dances, new music, I need to make sure the bar is always stocked... It's just a lot. It's exhausting."

"I can imagine. I'm sure you'll figure something out and if you need help doing that, I'm here for you." I assured her while gently rubbing her back with my hand.

"Thanks, Chloe."

Beca got up from her chair and we went on stage to rehearse the numbers. Beca had planned something new. I would have to perform a lift with another dancer. Beca wanted to rehearse this with me and the other dancer separately before incorporating the others. I would be the one lifting the other dancer, so I was currently training this part of the dance with Beca. I was supposed to swing her around my arm; she was practically doing an aerial around it.

However, the first attempt didn't go as planned. When she was about halfway through the aerial, I lost my balance, causing us both to stumble. I caught Beca before she could fall and then prevented myself from falling onto her by bracing my arms on the floor. I kneeled on the floor and ended up cradling Beca in my lap. She held on to my waist with one of her arms and wrapped her other arm around my neck, hugging me.

"Are you okay? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" I asked, my voice laced with worry.

"I'm fine. Don't worry.", she stated while looking into my eyes. We stayed silent, just looking at each other for a moment. It was one of those moments, where it didn't feel like we were being professional. This seemed a lot more intimate. Having her in my lap, looking into her eyes- this wasn't anything colleagues would do. While I was thinking about that this was wrong, and that we probably shouldn't be doing this, Beca leaned upwards and brushed her lips against mine. As much as I had wished for this to happen, I had to stop her. She was taken and my boss. I gently moved her away from my lips.

"You're with Jesse." I stated matter-of-factly. I was torn between happiness and guilt.

"You're right. I'm sorry..."

Beca was embarrassed by this, I felt it. She called off practice and secluded in her office. I was sad that we couldn't be together, sad that she was with Jesse and a little angry at her for letting something like this happen. I turned on the music and just danced. I just let the music guide my body.