Studio 22

Chapter 6:

Beca:

After the incident with Chloe, I went to my office to cool down. What had I done? She was right, I was with Jesse. This should've never happened. I had to talk to Chloe. Suddenly I heard music coming from the stage. I opened the door to my office and slowly walked toward the stage. When I saw Chloe, I stopped behind the curtain to watch her. She was dancing her heart out. It looked like she was driven by anger and sadness. I couldn't blame her for feeling that way. When the song ended she was sitting on the floor, her hands wrapped around her knees, her head buried between them, heavily breathing. I stepped closer to her and crouched down next to her.

"Chloe?" I asked, wanting to place a hand on her shoulder, but she moved away as soon as my hand brushed against her.

"Don't... touch me!" She sternly stated, looking up at me.

"Chloe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I tried to say as softly as possible.

"Then why did you do it?! Why did you kiss me?! What do you want?", she yelled at me. "Because one day, you tell me you have a boyfriend- and I respect that- and the other day you let your hands roam over my body like I'm the most desirable person. And now this?!"

"I'm sorry, Chloe. I really am. I shouldn't have done this..I don't know what I want anymore." I meekly admitted, knowing that this answer probably wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"Well, then figure it out! And don't do anything like that again until you know." Chloe said while getting up and walking toward her locker room.

~

Wednesday night, after the incident, I was working behind the bar together with Chloe and Stacie when Jesse entered the club. He smiled at me and sat down on one of the stools once he had reached us.

"Hey, peanut.", he said leaning over the bar to kiss me. I hesitantly kissed him back, not wanting Chloe to see us being affectionate after what had happened. I still felt guilty.

"Hey, Jesse. How was work?" I wanted to know while serving the next guest.

"Oh, you know... Same old story. Too much work for too few people.", he shrugged. He seemed so distant lately. I felt so disconnected from him. "But I didn't come here to talk about work. I came here to see my stunningly beautiful and super smart girlfriend."

While Jesse said that, I looked in Chloe's direction. I saw the jealousy in her eyes. If looks could kill, Jesse would've gone up in flames. Chloe noticed my gaze, looked at me angrily and continued working. I guess I deserved it. After all, I had been the one to tell her I had a boyfriend.

"What did you do now?" I jokingly asked him.

He gasped and answered, "I can't believe I can't even compliment you without you assuming something bad."

I knew he was joking. I just wanted to answer when Chloe spoke up.

"Beca, we're kind of busy here. We could use your help." She was handing out drinks to a group of girls impatiently waiting in front of the bar.

"I have to get back to work, but why don't you wait for me in my office? I'll meet you there in a bit." I told Jesse, handed him the key and went back to taking orders and mixing drinks.

After Studio 22 was closed, I cleaned up behind the bar together with Stacie and Chloe. Stacie grabbed a tray to collect the rest of the glasses from the tables, leaving me and Chloe alone. I wanted to put a few glasses into the sink to clean them, but one of them slipped through my fingers and shattered on the ground. Chloe, who had been working on the other end of the bar, wiping the counter tops and sorting bottles, turned around. I had crouched down to pick up the bigger shards, but she crouched down and grabbed my wrist before I could do it.

"Don't! You're only going to cut yourself. I'll get a broom." We looked into each other's eyes for a moment, none of us saying anything, before she got up to get the broom.

Why did we always have these moments? Why was my skin prickling where she had touched me? I couldn't allow myself to feel this. Or could I? Was I even still happy with Jesse?

Chloe came back with the broom and wanted to hand it to me. "Actually, could you do the rest? I have to go talk to Jesse about something."

"Sure.", she breathed out, clearly annoyed.

"Thank you." I hastily said while already on my way to my office. I had to talk to Jesse. I barged into my office and found Jesse sitting in my chair, his feet put up on my desk.

"Wow. Someone couldn't wait to see me, huh?" There it was- his cockiness. Sometimes I hated it, but right now, I didn't want to focus on that. It was something else I wanted to talk about.

"I have to tell you something." I blurted out.

"Okay, shoot."

I closed the door and started, "It's something serious, Jesse."

He looked at me a little confused, but he let me continue. "When we had our fight last week, I was so angry and disappointed. Chloe found me crying in my office and comforted me."

I was so nervous for his reaction.

"So?", he asked waiting for me to continue.

"So, we rehearsed a new choreography, we were practicing a lift to be exact. We failed and I ended up in her lap after she caught me..." I was dreading to tell the most important part.. I knew he was going to be mad.

"Come on, Beca! What is it?" He rarely used my name. He only did it when he was mad.

"While I was sitting in her lap...I-, uh-, we-.." I heaved a sigh before finally telling him. "I kissed her."

"Okay, let me get this straight. You're telling me you kissed your colleague during a rehearsal just because you were upset with me? Way to go, Beca. Way to go." I had never seen him so hurt and disappointed.

I wanted to explain why this happened, but I couldn't. God, I didn't even know myself why I had kissed her.

"Do you have anything else to say?", he asked while getting up and grabbing the door handle, ready to go.

"I-, uh-" Great. Now was not the right time to lose my speech. I didn't know what else to tell him. Jesse silently opened the door and walked away. He had almost reached the exit when I caught up to him.

"Jesse, wait. Please." I begged while grabbing his wrist from behind. He gently but determinedly removed my hand from his wrist.

"No, Beca. This is it. We're done." He tried to be cold, but I could tell how he was really feeling.

"Jesse! Please!" I shouted after him.

Before he left, he turned around, looked at me angrily and loudly said, "Don't worry. I'm sure your little Chloe will comfort you. Just like she did last time."

Since we were in the club still, everyone could hear us. Chloe had been cleaning up the last bits behind the bar, but at some point she stopped cleaning and just looked at us in shock.

Jesse left and I sank to the floor. What had I done? I had hurt Chloe by leading her on and kissing her and I had hurt Jesse by kissing Chloe. How could I be so stupid? I knew my attraction to Chloe would blow up in my face and tonight was apparently the night for that blow up. I didn't even know what to feel. I was angry at myself, but I also felt- relieved? Maybe I had dreaded to end things with Jesse for too long.