Studio 22

Chapter 7:

Chloe:

After Jesse left, I carefully went over to Beca. I couldn't help it. I was still mad at her for sending me mixed signals, dancing with me like that and ultimately kissing me, but I felt bad for her. If I was being honest, I was also curious what they had been fighting about since I had heard my name.

"Beca?" I asked tentatively. "Are you okay?"

"No, not really.", she answered not turning around or making any effort to look at me.

"Stupid question. I'm sorry." I said while sitting down next to her. I didn't say anything, I just wanted her to know I was there for her, regardless of what had happened between us before.

"Chloe, what are you doing?", she asked seriously.

"I-, uh, heard my name and was wondering what you guys were fighting about..." I paused, but when she looked at me resentfully, I added, "I'm sorry, that's none of my business."

I got up and wanted to leave, when I heard her voice again.

"You're right! That's none of your business!", she yelled after me. I didn't turn around, but I stopped to hear what she had to say. "It's none of your damn business, but if you must know, I told Jesse about the kiss!"

Now I turned around in shock.

"Why did you tell him?" I tried to ask as calmly as possible. It was enough that Beca was yelling.

"I wanted to be honest with him! Look what you did! You're the reason he broke up with me!" Beca yelled in my face.

"Seriously?! Beca, you kissed me, not the other way around. I even stopped you. I did nothing but respect your relationship with Jesse. Don't blame this on me. I'm taking a few days off. I can't work with you like that." I stated and walked out. One side of me felt bad for her. After all she had lost her boyfriend. I knew this wasn't easy, even if things weren't going so well anymore. The other side of me was pissed- to say the least. How could she blame this on me? I hadn't done anything wrong. I hadn't been the one to kiss her. And I sure as hell wasn't the one to tell Jesse.

                                       ~

A week after the fight with Beca, I still wasn't working again. I was still incredibly hurt by her trying to blame the break-up on me. I had spent a lot of time running through the park nearby, but it was pouring, so I decided to work out at the gym in the evening. I entered the gym and went to the free weight section, put on my headphones, and started training. I was in the middle of squatting, realizing I wouldn't be able to get the weight back up again when Beca appeared behind me, pulling the barbell up and putting it back on the rack.

"What are you doing here?" I annoyedly said after turning around and taking my headphones off. I didn't want to face her right now. I wanted to get rid of my anger, that was why I was here. Her being here definitely didn't help doing that.

"Chloe, look. I'm sorry for lash-"

"No, Beca. I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone." I cut her off. I didn't want to hear her apology. Maybe I was too harsh and maybe I was too hurt by her yelling at me, but right now, I didn't want to deal with any of this.

"Chloe, please.", she pleaded.

"No. You're not kissing me, trying to blame your break-up on me, yell at me and then just show up here out of nowhere and apologize, thinking everything will be fine after that!" I said sternly, but quiet enough so nobody else would hear and then grabbed my water bottle and my towel and left.

Right outside the gym, Beca caught up with me.

"Chloe, wait! Please!"

I gave in and stopped. I turned around and Beca walked up to me.

"I'm sorry, Chloe. I'm sorry for leading you on after telling you I had a boyfriend. I'm sorry for blaming my break-up on you. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm incredibly sorry for all these things, but there is one thing I can't be sorry about.", she desperately explained.

"And what is that?" I coldly asked.

"The kiss. Yes, it was wrong because I was still with Jesse. And yes, it shouldn't have happened, but I can't be sorry about that, Chloe. I just can't."

"Why?"

"Because there was nothing I wanted more in that moment! Chloe, I was too scared to admit it to myself. I was a coward, but I...", she took a deep breath before continuing, "I have feelings for you. I like you. Like, a lot. Can you forgive me?"

I definitely hadn't expected her to say something like this. I tried to hide the huge smile that was trying to creep on my face. I didn't want to give in so easily.

But why? Wasn't honestly telling someone how you feel hard enough as it is? Why did we always have to give the other person a hard time instead of communicating how we really feel?

Beca had apologized and I believed her. I tried to see everything from her perspective. I was sure it hadn't been easy for her. Discovering these new feelings, trying to hold them back to stay professional and save her relationship...

"I forgive you." I just said, smiling at her.

"No 'but'?", she asked, clearly confused.

"No. No 'but'. I honestly don't get why there always have to be strings attached. Either you forgive someone, or you don't. By attaching conditions, you make your forgiveness dependent on external influences when it should be a process within yourself." I explained.

"Did you study psychology or something?" Beca giggled.

"No, I didn't. That's just how I see it." I shrugged.

"Well, I'm glad you see it that way. I want to make it up to you. I want to take you somewhere."

"No, Beca. I just want to go home. Please."

"Can I at least take you home then?", she asked, her voice soft. I thought I had heard insecurity in it too.

"Yeah. I'd like that."

We drove through the significantly emptier streets. Beca's gaze was glued to the road ahead of us while I was looking at her. I was wondering how she could make me go from solely being attracted to her, to thinking that we might had a chance of being together, to I didn't want to see her. And then back to wanting to be with her again. All in the timespan of a few weeks. She dropped me home and I went to bed thinking about her.