20 Reasons To Live [mgc + lrh]

Epilouge (the last entry)

Michaels funeral.

Luke came at the semetery with his mother, seeing many people sitting in rows made of white chairs. His mother tapped his hand. ''I'm gonna sit here. You go.'' she whispered to her only child and sat in the back row. Luke saw so many people. Even Alex. Calum was in the first row. Luke decided to sit there, so he dragged his feet there. He took a seat to Calums left, realizing someone was on the right side. He immediately recognized the golden curls and remembered it's Ashton. Ashton and Calum were now officially dating, which hurt Luke, knowing Ashton was related to Michael and Calum was his best friend.

Both Ashton and Calum wore black jeans and black, band tee shirts with jackets and low black Vans. Ashton also had a black bandana that Michael bought him and hurt written over his face. Luke on the other side wore black skinny jeans, ripped on his knees, a long black sweater that was Michaels and hish black Vans, but the same, or even bigger ammount of pain was on his face. Calum placed his hand on Lukes hand, looking at the boy with care. Luke nodded his head, staring at the dark wood of the coffin in front of him. It was open, but Luke just wasn't ready yet. There was a priest saying his prays, which Luke didn't listen. He ignored them, though his eyes were filled with tears that he would occasionally dried of with a sleeve. He saw Karen, Michaels mom, she wore a long black dress, no make up, knowing she would cry over her only child. Luke imagined how would it be to his mom and regretted the toughts right away.

Suddenly the priest went quiet and called Karen for her speach. She said some things about Michael being a good son, him being happy now, which she said looking at Luke. He smiled weakly to her. She looked at the coffin, smiled weakly and went back to her seat. Next was some girl Luke didn't know. Her name was Abigail and she was Michaels ''friend''. But she also mentioned Michael and her dating which made Luke cringe slightly. But at the end she smiled with pain, her make up smattered a bit, so Luke decided that judging her isn't the right thing at the moment, at the end, she also feels the pain which made him feel better. At least he wasn't the only one crying over Michael. His name was called and he took a deep breath and stood up. Calum and Ashton smiled to him, giving him a small ammount of self esteem. The duo held their hands close together, cause they also felt the pain.

He walked there, his hands trembling, his eyes losing on the people. He finally stood there, seeing his boyfriend, his hair electric blue, his face paler than ever, green eyes closed forever, but a small smile sneaked in on the light pink lips. The blonde couldn't help it but smile. Luke cleared his throat, which actually had a lump of fear.

''Hi. I'm Luke Hemmings, Michaels class mate, friend and boyfriend.'' Luke smiled slightly. ''I know you think bad things about this now, but yes, I was his boyfriend and I loved him. I still do. He was my unfortunate love. But, when you fall in love you can't help it but act like a fool.'' he shrugged softly before continuing. ''Sadly, we were both fools. But, I guess I was a fool for him. You see, every day, he would write me a letter, which had a reason why I should live. Everyone of you knows that I tried commiting suicide. Well Michael, even though I didn't know it was him, wrote me a letter in which he promised me to give me 20 reasons to Live. And he tried. As I got stronger, strong enough to fight, he became weaker and I didn't know. We stopped at eleven, when the last letter I got was his suicidal note. In a way I already knew, we didn't see eachother in a while, no letters, nothing, and I was praying to God that he was okay. And he is, he is so much better now. But I have a 12.th reason, he was the reason. I'm getting a bit personal, and I know if I continue talking about him I'm gonna cry a river, so let's talk about science. It is proved that if you thought about death more than three times a week you are suicidal, depressed etecetra... I am no scientist, this is something Michael told me, and that's a proof he has been thinking about this. And this is what happened. And you are all strangers to me, but I love my boyfriend and he asked me to have a speach on his funeral and so am I doing that. His eyes, sadly closed forever, were green. Okay? He begged me to remember their colour. So I am asking you to do that. I just want him to be remembered, even if he is running through my mind the whole day, can you just think of him for an hour? Thank you.'' 

Luke whispered and got down to the coffin, where his boyfriend layed. He kissed his forhead, knowing what people would say if he kissed his lips. ''Just wait for me.'' Luke whispered and walked away. People do what they do.

An

You understand that I'm not hurting only you, I am also hurting myself. Do not kill me, darlings, there shall be a sequel. I have a funeral to attend tommorow so I am also a mess now. 

I want to thank you all for reading this, you guys are my life. Thank you for the votes, for the reads and the wonderful comments. I love you all so much, my little freckles. 

To darkclownn. Sorry about the hurting you darling. 

To all of you. I am glad you went through the journey with me. 

Goodbye.

Lou