L.S. one shots

Cemetery

Desmond Styles ~ beloved husband and father
1957/10/25 - 2021/11/23

Harry let out a broken sob as he stuffed his fists deeper in his coat pockets and hissed at the cold breeze passing his nose. He wiped his nose on his shoulder as not to have to let his hands get cold. The tears on his cheeks were sticking to his skin as they froze in seconds.

"Haz?"

"Leave me alone." Harry tried to call out with a broken voice, still sounding small.

"Haz, come on. It's been a month since you properly talked to me." Harry decided to ignore him. "Harry, please. I-"

"Just go away!" Harry shrieked over his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, snow crunching under his shuffling feet. He was surprised when he heard another person sniffle.

"Harry, I just-" Louis spoke and his voice was thick and wobbly enough for Harry to hear he was crying. Why was he crying though, it's not he who lost his father. It's not him who still loved his father while he was homophobic and abusive. It wasn't he who had to watch his mother succumb under the pressure of work and taking care of broken children.

"I need you. And I know how selfish that sounds right now, but I know you need me too."

Harry frowned as he kept looking at his father's grave. There was shiny snow laying on top and the stone was moist.

"He wouldn't want you here."

Louis wasn't going to lie, that did break his heart. His eyes filled with new tears, not understanding how the Harry he loved so much could take his father's side, after all they've gone through.

"Harry, you've always stood up for yourself and for us, against him. You always proved him wrong and you were never ashamed of who you were. What's changed?"

"He's dead. Louis." His name sounded like venom in his mouth, "And his only wish was for me to just be fucking straight and normal!" Harry shouted, his anger coming through his tears.

"It's all he's ever wished for, and I'm not going to disappoint him any further. Not if it caused his death."

Louis had to do his best not to crumble down like the snow beneath his feet. He knew Harry didn't mean it. He knew, Harry didn't want this, he really hoped Harry didn't want this for real.

"We never had anything to treasure. We're done."

"Please, baby-"

"Leave!" Harry suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs as he turned around, his face angry but broken as he began shaking and sobbing violently, his back to his father's grave.

Louis' bottom lip wobbled from the cold and from crying as he felt his insides break, everything he had left, broke. His body stopped giving him motivation and his heart sunk so low he couldn't hear it calling for Harry's name anymore.

He never learned to listen to anything else than his heart, but at this moment Louis' head told him to do as Harry asked- leave and stay out of his life.

The smaller boy broke down himself as his now ex-boyfriend glared at him through his tears, but even if Louis saw how much Harry had to do his best not to let his emotions show, Harry didn't budge. He kept looking at Louis as if he wanted him out of his life, and that's also what Harry's been asking of him. That left him with only one option, turn around and run.

He ran even if his cheeks were cold and wet and his feet patted deep into the snow. He cried as he ran and sobbed loudly, not caring if Harry could hear him.

Harry watched has Louis' small figure only became smaller as he was running away. That's when his heart returned. He didn't want Louis to run. He wanted to convince himself he wanted that, but now that it was happening he felt in his heart he didn't, his heart only hurt more.

"Lou?" He weakly called out as he began stumbling in the running boy's direction, he sped up until he was running like he never did before, following the small but deep traces of hurt in the snow.

"Louis! Louis wait!" Harry screamed with sobs in between. His facade crumbled as fast as it came, because he knew his dead, homophobic, abusive father's last wish wasn't worth losing Louis. Louis was everything he ever wanted.

Everything he ever needed.

"Lou, wait up! I love you!!" He screamed and he noticed he was approaching the boy, he never ran this fast. When Louis slowed down to a walking pace and then stopped, Harry kept running until he was only a few meters behind, watching the boy's back muscles shift as he cried.

"Lou, I'm s- so sorry. I- It's just- My dad- I-"

"How could you say that, Harry." Louis whispered as his voiceless throat cracked.

"Wha- Louis I love you, I- I'm so sorry. Don't- I've n- no idea why I said t-that. M-my dad, he- I-, you can't leave, I'm sorry!" Harry kept sobbing as Louis sniffled.

Harry was quiet for a few seconds before he begged a weak "please" and a whining sound left his throat, though it was only from how desperate he was for Louis to understand how sorry he was and how much his dad manipulated him and how much he still loved him.

Louis turned around slowly for Harry to notice his bloodshot eyes, wet, red cheeks and wobbling lip. His hands were clamming around his stomach as he shook and Harry watched as Louis' eyes followed a tear falling from his cheek to emerge in the snow.

"I love you." Was the only thing Harry could say. He didn't have the courage to say anything else and his dad's last words were still blasting in his head but he figured out one thing, that he loved Louis Tomlinson.

"I love you." he said again as he stepped closer, with a little bit more confidence though his voice could barely be heard, he saw Louis' gaze shift under the heavy words. He knew Louis could carry them, though, he knew Louis was strong. He was assured when he took another step closer, now only half a meter separating them, when Louis looked up and the anger in his eyes had been replaced by hope.

Hope that the old Harry was back. Hope that the Harry he loved was still in there and now ready to come out. Hope that his dad wouldn't affect him more after his death than before, as he already made it so hard for them to be together.

"I love you." Harry whispered as his nose touched Louis', both their breaths hitching, skins itching to be touched by one another but not sure what boundaries could be broken and which new ones were set up.

Harry's hand came up to the smaller boy's cheek, holding it even though he knew his hand felt like ice. He needed to hold his boy.

Harry took one more stumbling step forward and placed a weird, hard, lingering peck on Louis' lips. They parted with a light smack as Louis stumbled back from Harry's stumbling impact.

Harry felt his tiny hands curl fists in the front of his sweater, though, and was being pulled in for another peck, softer this time. Louis kissed him a few times and again, just because he could. This is the first physical contact he's had with the boy since his father's death and, he needed it.

After a few wet pecks they panted from the tension and the cold, Louis threw his arms around Harry's neck and sobbed in relieve, nose pressing in his chest and weakly smiling when he felt Harry's strong arms curl around his waist.

Never would he let something let that happen again.

Never would he let go of his love again.

His boy.

~~~

Cemetery

Okay that was quite sad. Though I liked the vibes at the end (ObViOuSlY).

Nah but okay cos like that's heavy shit, right?! Anyway, tell me if you liked it and THANK YOU for reading!

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xxx