The Review Court

The Lioness Who Roared | Reviewer: monique0912345

Title: The Lioness Who Roared
Author: conquestofthesomnium
Genre: General Fiction

Note from Reviewer monique0912345 : Thank you for requesting the Diamond package. Here is your review. I hope it was helpful.

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The Blurb on The Lioness Who Roared:
"Francesca hoped for a relaxing and fun vacation in her mother's hometown -- Priene. She expected the place to be everything her mother described it to be -- a paradise. At first glance, it was. Not until the entire family got ambushed. The foulness of the place started unraveling. The town she pictured to be a paradise turned out to be infested with injustices, corruption, and tyranny."

"Having their lives in imminent danger, the best choice was to leave. But that is not what Francesca had in mind. Seeing how the people needed help, how miserable and yet hopeful the place is, Francesca made a foolish, stubborn, and ambitious decision. She decided to stay. It was not in her blood to give up. She believed that a lioness never gives up her den."

"The more she stayed in Priene, the more everything became clearer to her. With her family's past, a betrayal, and her enemy's thirst for revenge, she realized what's at stake. She had to win or she, and every one with her, will end up paying with their lives."

Blurb:
Your blurb was informative as it told us about the story but I felt your blurb gave away too much. I felt especially the first paragraph summarised the first couple of chapter. I would suggest removing some of the blurb. Think about Who your story is about, what the conflict is, what your story is about, where is your story set, etc.

Title:
I think your title is quite unique as I haven't come across a story with this title before. I can see the title fitting into your story and I quite like it.

Cover:
The cover is very beautiful. I quite love the vector type cover you have. The title and author name is clear to see, so that is awesome. I love the colours and the inclusion of a tiger or lion with the girl on the cover. If I were to come across your book at a bookstore, your cover would be enough to make me want to buy your book.

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Plot/Flow:
I felt your plot is great. From the prologue a reader can easily be hooked to find out more. The flow/pace of the story is good but I felt you needed more emotion, sensory and details, especially about what the main character sees. Maybe describing the mansion more and such, otherwise it would feel slightly rushed.

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Chapter One:

Tense Issues:
In chapter one, I found some small tense issues. You are writing in past tense and in a few sentences you had some present tense words. Allow me to give you examples from the third paragraph.

What you have: Her sapphire blue eyes behold the great stature of the city.

'Behold' is present tense so to make it past tense and keep with the flow of your narrative it should become 'beheld'