an encounter | matty healy

// seven //

"what do you mean by that?" i asked, margo sighed and sade hadn't taken her eyes off of the floor. "lennon, you're trending on twitter. people think you're george's new bird." she said sternly, i felt like a child being scolded on christmas day. i stood there, silently sweating and trying to come up with something to say.

all i could think about was what matty had said earlier: if looks could kill, i would probably be dead by now. i really shouldn't think about him when i'm dealing with a situation that halfway includes his best friend.

"how did it happen? i swear it was just a conversation, nothing else happened." i tried justifying, but i sounded like i tried too hard to make everything i say sound convincing. "well, someone must've taken loads of photos of you two being close, i bet it was a fan." she said. i looked at the floor, i was several inches away from both of them.

"i just wanted to talk to him about matty, i swear to you that's all." i spoke and looked at them both, sade's eyes shifted from the floor to meet my gaze. she slowly smirked, "after what we had this morning, i couldn't stay mad at you forever." i felt a sense of relief come over me as she said those words, i'm glad we could reconcile. "margo, where have you been?" i changed the subject.

her eyes widened, "i'm a bit embarrassed to say where i was." sade scoffed and slowly laughed, "what you told me sure did not sound embarrassing." they both exchanged looks, then looked at me. "lennon, i'll tell you another time when sade's not around." she said, which made sade look at her with full offense.

somehow i still have my arms attached to my body. i would've thought that they would kill me if they saw me hanging out with my ex boyfriend's best friend, especially after how the situation ended. thankfully it was handled shortly, confusingly, and well. i really did not see any of this coming, but what revolves around my mind is that i forcefully said that i'm going to matty's gig soon.

but, am i really going to his gig soon? i need to sleep on this and think it over in the morning before it's too late.

—

"i just hope he won't sing a song about me," i spoke on the phone, "if he wasn't kidding about writing songs about me." i could hear collin sigh on the other end of the call, in exasperation. "i've repeated this over a hundred times: if you're not sure about going then don't go at all. when does it start anyway?" he said, desperation leaked out of the question. "not so sure but the ticket says it's on friday night at 7pm" i answered. "an obnoxious time established by obnoxious people, are you sure you want to go?" collin asked another question. "i said i will so i'm going, that does not mean that i'm forced to do so." i clarified.

"you are being forced."
"what? no i'm not, collin that's insane"

"you said that you will go because you said so, and who did you say that in front of? sade, and you know sade will tell you that she told you not to go and you did it anyway. so in that case, you are forcing yourself to go so you can prove to sade that whatever point she made is wrong, therefore you can slowly vandalize her superiority complex." he spoke in one breath, he took deep breaths the next second. "don't go if you don't want to go, that's all i want to say."

"what if i want to go?" i asked. "then go if you want to go. i'm sure you're old enough to make your own decisions, we are in college after all." he replied in a more breathy tone. "you remind me of my father, collin." i said. "that's a bit kinky isn't it, lennon?" he joked, i gasped and laughed awkwardly with him.

"i don't think i should be talking to you more and lose track of time, an important presentation is coming up first period and i do not want to get deducted whatsoever. i'll catch up with you later in campus." he ended. "yeah, i agree as well. see you soon." i said. we both hung up and i could feel his smile lingering around.

i looked at the time and quickly gathered my rucksack and opened my bedroom door to see the kitchen island in a complete mess, half full glasses of water scattered around. "i'll clean this up when i get back." i thought to myself. i got my coat off of the coat hanger and left the dorm.

the fresh manchester air rushed to my head as i stepped out, ravaging through my rucksack to find a pair of wired earphones. i plugged them in my phone and started listening to 'born to die' by lana del rey, while walking to campus. it was a short walk and i shouldn't bother myself listening to a couple of songs, but i still feel the same sense of euphoria and excitement to this album like how i felt almost a year ago.

i spotted margo smiling at me as i walked through. before waving at her, i was interrupted by a text ringtone vibrating inside both of my ears. the noise circling around and leaving a temporary stain. i nervously smiled at her from afar and pulled my phone out from my pocket and glanced at the text.

unknown; 8:37AM

'hope you'll make it to the gig ;)'

yet, i now wonder who could that be if it wasn't so obvious. most importantly, why was this sent to me anyway?

i stopped questioning myself and didn't reply. i removed my earphones and placed them back into my rucksack along with my phone. i did not need any more distractions, since the upcoming few classes are the most important classes of my life. i'll think about the text later. i'll think about the gig later. i'll think about matty later. i'll think about everything later.

am i starting to somewhat like matty again? i choose to think about it later, and later will turn into tomorrow, and tomorrow will turn into next week, and next week will turn into next month. i don't have a next week or a next month. it's wednesday already and the gig is on friday.

that's not enough time for me to realize if i really like matty again, if i want to rekindle the godforsaken relationship, if i want to go to the gig after all the commotion it caused in my head.

yet, there's always time for tomorrow.