"And then what happened?" he asks, soothingly.
Caasi blinks, he glances around.
"Wait," he mutters.
The Doctor pauses, "I'm sorry, you were in the middle of speaking. I believe you were recounting the event in, the café."
Caasi looks to the floor... carpet. There was not, carpet here. The surroundings are completely different. What felt like only a moment ago, the story Caasi was theoretically explaining, was actually transpiring. He's dumbfounded, completely unable to determine how things changed.
"That's, well. Where did I leave off?"
Dr. Olivero holds his eyes on his patient for a brief moment. Then he proceeds to write something down. Classic, of course he'd wanna take note of that.
"It's perfectly alright if you can't remember, or don't wish to continue." He says.
Caasi hesitates, "I just, feel like I lost my place. And now, it doesn't feel right to finish the story."
"May I ask why?" he replies.
That felt like a trap. The conversational kind, of course. Nevertheless it was biased. I doubt he's already in my head, but it definitely feels like I might not be either. This isn't right, the moment feels wrong. I wasn't here, and not in the normal sense of the I'm not here right now that I feel. This one was strikingly different, than a dissociation.
I was both physically and mentally elsewhere.
"It seems stupid," I say.
"How so?" The Doctor baits.
My eyes squint. Really?
"It's beginning to sound, nonsensical. And I don't want you to interpret that negatively." I reply, yeah, that sounds respectable.
He waits a moment. This time he doesn't record my response, or at least doesn't have a snarky note to add. Instead, Dr. Olivero seems to be thinking. I can't tell if he's worried about how to respond, or wondering if he wants to tangent before me. This felt reminiscent of the verbal standoff aforementioned. This time it wasn't an enemy, but he sure seemed like one.
It doesn't help that I can't recount it. I officially feel cornered, and defenseless. I'm responding offensively, by enacting a shield, even around my mind. It could be counterintuitive, yet I'm willing to bet that this exact situation is a result of... a series of counter intuitions.
If I believe this isn't where I was, then I wasn't here. And if I continue to reveal my doubt in myself, then that increases the doubt others have for me. Each person that believes me, or doesn't, on any matter, can potentially be compromised further than I.
"Okay," Olivero says. "We'll put a mark in it there. I'll schedule you for another appointment soon. But I'm going to leave further instructions with my assistant. Please see her afterward for the details." He presumably writes down a prescription.
I can hear the ball point pen scribe his signature. The tare of the slip reminds me to stand up. I take the yellow note, and exit the room. No need for formalities, on my end at least. I don't like how this ended, and I don't know if there will be a next time. In case that ends up how it is, I'll do him this favor of bringing the note to his secretary. After all, he could've told me his final words of the session there - but he distinctly didn't.
"Curious!" she says, her eyes pop behind purple framed glasses. The assistant, strangely joyed after reading, reaches under her desk.
The slight churn of a cabinet unlocking, followed by the clicks of manila envelopes go off. The clock on the wall tells me she takes about half a minute. Weird, given that she seems prompt at everything she does. After a minute, she fetches a folder that seems, older. She even waves away dust before standing up and facing me.
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
R e t r o s p e c t • PSYPHY
रोमांसHindsight is twenty-twenty. Although for Caasi Stintin even that is subject to change. His less than average life of mediocrity suddenly undergoes a shift. There's a death in the family. Little did he know the severity of the impact it would cause...
