R e t r o s p e c t • PSYPHY

Chapter 6: C a r p e D i e m

It started to feel like I was given misfortune by the day. After several moments of silently groaning in pain on the pavement, I finally stood back up. The chilled air brushed against my face. I wiped off the dirt I figured got on my clothes with my hands. There was a myriad of thoughts currently traversing my head. The most significant of which was constant. 

Where is she? 

The thought repeated. The word she, could've belonged to any one of the women who brought calamity upon me. One would assume the most recent person whom I came in contact with, was whom I was referencing. However it wasn't Titilayo; the misleading mugger whom stole my wondrous watch. It was instead, my beloved sister, Gabbi. In times like these where I didn't know what my next move was going to be, I often sought out her advice. She was the eldest of three including me, so we all felt she was the smartest. If there was anyone I could trust to deduce a good solution, it was her.

I reached in my pocket and retrieved my phone. Gabbi was on speed dial, so I didn't hesitate to click on her number to call. I pressed the phone against my cheek. The surface of the screen was warm to the touch. I listened intently, drowning out all the noise of the passerby civilians on the street. The phone rang, she was one of those people who thought it was cool to have Mozart music play as a ring tone when people called. To little surprise she didn't answer. Her voicemail started to play, I decided to not abruptly hang up like usual.

"This is Gabbi! Sorry I missed your call. One of two things are happening right now. I'm either busy, or I'm busy ignoring you. Try again later, chow!" Her voicemail told me.

Once it finished playing I felt it was more insulting each time. She had this terrible habit of not picking up the phone. I felt like her voicemail was mocking me, imbuing the thought that she was indeed ignoring me. Knowing her, she probably was for some outlandish reason that I couldn't surmise. This was a very inopportune time as well, as I was counting on her for a ride. Currently I was in the middle of what looked like downtown Baltimore. I didn't have enough money to take public transportation. That is if I still wanted to get something from the Chinese takeout place by my house. That, was currently going to be the only highlight of this day, so I definitely wasn't going to ruin that.

Still, some part of me wanted to ask my brother Jared for a ride. I would've, but I knew he was probably busy with his wife. I didn't want to infringe upon their time together. Mother was probably halfway down a bottle of Bacardi by now. The evening was her happy hour and I knew by now, nine pm, that she would be too drunk to drive. Therefor Gabbi was my only hope.

I looked around, then sighed. I couldn't really believe what just happened, so I needed to process it for a moment.

Okay, well on the bright side, I managed to avoid being arrested. On the other side of the grass, I couldn't really forget what happened earlier. The train ride from hell was on my mind. I didn't want to wallow in the shame or sorrow of being implicated. I didn't want to think about anything concerning that. It felt too fake. Yeah, that sounds weird but fake. It was hard to believe. 

Two days ago I went to New York City, that was where my father's funeral was held. Naturally, because the city was highly regarded as the Stintin part of the family's home. Mom's was the country, North Carolina. Yeah, small town girl and city boy in this lonely world. Cliche yes, but it's true, guess that's why they're called cliches. The odd thing was that my mom's side of the family, including my brother and sister - and all those mutual 'friends' mom and dad made here in Maryland, didn't show up. I thought that was weird. Why did they segregate the family? Why wait until a tragedy like this to decide to split apart for good? 

I wasn't aware of any bad blood between the family sides. I mean, yeah mom and dad had a marriage and it crumbled to demise ironically slower than anticipated. Yet, the only feud I personally was aware of, were within the respective sides of the family. Not amongst each other. That made the way things went down when he died... ominous.