This Was Home [h.s.]

| 14. INTRUDER |

  We had been driving for awhile now, still listening to the music that was playing on the radio. It was the same music that always played on loop. There were different genre loops that it would cycle between which made it a little more palatable. You eventually just got used to it though.

Early on when everything went to shit, there was an actual host that would talk on it but that stopped years ago. It was an abrupt stop and I still wasn't totally sure why. Maybe he died. Or disappeared. No one really knew.

I was so young I didn't really care what he had to say on it anyway. I didn't want to listen to the news, because what kid would? Anytime the man would talk about news updates about the creatures, it would leave a worried look on my mom's face. She'd try her best to conceal it, but the shift of shakiness in her tone would always give it away. She'd quickly turn it off after that. I never liked seeing her like that, so I didn't miss it when it finally stopped. I was grateful actually. Sorry radio news guy.

Right now it was playing the loop of 80's hits. I used to get annoyed by the repetition of the same music, but it had become a form of comfort now. When I was feeling anxious or needing help falling asleep, my mom would bring in her radio to my room to let me listen. So I had grown fond of the songs now, they had attached a new meaning to them in the midst of all the chaos.

There were still the CDs that were hidden away in Harry's car, but I was pretty content with this. It helped ease how I was feeling. I think it helped Harry too, because he seemed in his own little world right now. He was tapping away on the steering wheel with his fingers, humming to himself. I wouldn't be surprised if he had forgotten I was in the car right beside him altogether. I just smiled to myself and continued watching the trees pass by through the window.

It felt comfortable, so I couldn't complain. I didn't want to ruin it either. This felt normal, so normal I almost forgot what we were doing. I was half expecting Alayna to be in the backseat with us, but reality soon sank back in.

All of a sudden the music was no longer comforting me and my thoughts were becoming jumbled with the beats. It was all too overwhelming to sit with and I needed to distract myself. Although I didn't really want to talk, it was first thing I could think to do in order to settle my racing mind.

I reached towards the stereo and lightly turned the volume down. Harry's fingers abruptly stopped tapping with the rhythm and he looked over to the stereo, confused why it suddenly went quieter. He noticed my fingers trailing back away from it and looked over to me with a puzzled look.

"You good?" He questioned with an eyebrow raised and returned his focus back towards the road in front of him.

"Yeah, I just..." I trailed off, already regretting my decision. I should have just sat through the music and let the feeling pass. Now I had anxiety about something completely different now, talking to Harry why I just did that. He didn't really seem the type to be all that understanding about overwhelming thoughts and anxieties.