This Was Home [h.s.]

| 24. TRIPLE SCOOP |

The bathing pitstop only pushed us back about an hour, so we would still make it back before it started to get dark. As long as everything else went to plan, we were good. Alayna was so close that I could taste it, and I would stop at nothing to get where we needed to tonight.

I did my best to busy myself with the nerves that spilled throughout my body. It was like little shocks of electricity striking through my legs and fingers at random times. All I could do was bounce my knees up and down along to the music. The radio was in its loop of 90's hits, playing "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers through the speakers.

She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy
I never worry, now that is a lie
I don't ever want to feel like I did that day.
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way.

The soft notes playing out was enough to soothe me slightly, the jumping of my knee able to dull its tempo. I hummed lightly with the words, shutting my eyes to wallow in the moment. The back of my head fell back against the car seat headrest, allowing myself to sink deeper into relaxation. The song reminded me of better times, specifically during the summer. The Red Hot Chili Peppers always seemed to remind me of the sun's warmth on the brightest of summer days. It was soothing in the best way—refreshing even.

The song itself also held its own meaning to me. For me, the song highlighted how loneliness was so wholly consuming. Within the past week, I had never felt such an intense feeling of loneliness like I did that first day I walked home to an empty house. The way all I wanted was to be consoled by the people I was mourning, completely stricken with grief and anger.

But, there was no one to judge me for it. No matter how far we traveled, the city continued at its own pace, completely unaffected by my realities. Everything continued as it did before, and I had to keep up the pace.

I knew that wasn't the original meaning behind the sound, but it resonated enough to motivate me in my current search for Alayna. It re-sparked any hope that I had lost in the process of it all. Things were going to sort out eventually. It would put an end to loneliness and fighting to keep up with the world going on around me.

I opened my eyes again once the familiar notes had stopped, moving on to the next song. I recognized the lyrics, but I had no idea what the name of the song was. That was the one downside of listening to the same repeating music, I would know the words by heart, but often never knew the artist or band name that coincided with it. When I was younger I would give the songs their own titles and band names. It was one of Alayna and I's favorite games together when we would compare what we came up with.

Regardless, it was nice just to sit back and relax. The car smelled clean, combining the scent of our nearly-perfect washed bodies together as one. My hair was damp against my shoulders as I fought against the shiver from the air blowing through it. Everything felt much lighter now, and my confidence had even grown. I felt like a brand new person, ready to take on anything—with wet hair and all.