This Was Home [h.s.]

| *22. WINDOW SHOPPING* |

Two hours wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. But so much had already happened in just that day. Each hour seemed to have a year's worth of experiences at this point. Each second passed by like a day, riddled with every emotion to exist. There weren't many pauses in between to process what had happened previously, because by then I was troubled with whatever was next. So, I enjoyed the car rides that built in time in the middle of these experiences. It was a rest, no matter how minimal.

I glanced at the map before putting it away, trailing my finger along the drawn-out path like I had a million times before. Salt Lake City was our next stop, nestled safely in the confines of Utah. Passing through Nevada and deeper into the next state welcomed in more greenery atop the mountains. Thick dustings of leftover snow draped over the mountains' peaks and I stared in awe. The views were postcard worthy, and I wished I had something to capture the beauty in front of me. At the very least to show Alayna when I saw her, whenever that day would finally come.

Harry was as concentrated as he always was when behind the wheel. The way he could stay awake so easily through the long stretch of roads baffled me. It seemed as though every time the drive was more than two or three hours, the noises zooming past would lull me off to sleep. But with Harry, if anything, it seemed to keep him awake. I was fortunate though, he looked to enjoy riding along. It helped the guiltiness of bringing him with me for my family issues lessen.

I knew he wasn't the type to tag along to something he would have no interest in either. That helped the most in reassuring myself that he actually wanted to come, and I wasn't burdening him. Every now and then the second-thoughts would flash through my mind, but it was as if he could sense it and would reassure me in different ways: a smirk just playful enough to brighten my mood, turning the music up when he knew I enjoyed the particular song on the radio, or asking to make sure the temperature of the car was comfortable enough. He would never outright say anything along the lines of caring, but this was enough to show what really went through his mind and I was grateful for the soothing-ness it brought.

He never failed to throw in a snarky comment in between his niceties of course, but that was just who he was. At first, I didn't want to come to terms with his asshole-ness, but I had grown used to it. I found comfort in it actually. Once I realized the inner workings of his actions and thought processes more, it started to make sense. Sometimes it would be too much, but my skin had begun to thicken in just the short time of knowing him.

It was insane the amount of growth that had happened between the two of us. If someone were to tell me I would have been where I was now, I would have probably laughed in their face. One of my biggest concerns upon meeting him was the fact I had to spend more time than necessary with him; freaking out that I would have to spend another night with his presence nearby.

But now?

It was hard to picture being down this road with anyone else by my side. There was that shield of safety that followed alongside the two of us when we were together. I wondered if he felt it in the same way I did, but I was never going to ask to find out. While I had learned a lot about why he acted the way he did, I didn't know everything. For all I knew, he could have been counting down the days where I would be out of the picture. Maybe he wouldn't feel an absence when I was gone either.