This Was Home [h.s.]

| 30. CONFIDENTIAL |

Brin's POV
—

During our silent walk, I ran through all of my options. I knew answers were coming soon, but it didn't necessarily mean it was answers I wanted to hear. Granted, it didn't necessarily mean it was an answer I didn't want to hear either. I had no control over what we would find out. I needed to mentally prepare for anything regardless.

My hand nervously rubbed at my face, hoping it would shake me with some solid ideas.

Blank.

"You okay?" Harry's attention was now on me, or at least the side of my head. I didn't want to look back towards him. I felt like he would see right through me and I would become even more antsy.

I shaped myself up, clearing my throat before I spoke. "Yeah I'm fine. Just a bit nervous, I guess."

Which wasn't a lie. It was just an understatement. But, understatements weren't outright lies, right?

I could still feel his sharp gaze on me and I finally turned to him. I smiled slightly with a small head nod. "I swear." A laugh escaped out. It did a fair job in easing the restlessness flowing through every nerve in my body.

He nodded his head, a knowing smile on his face. "Whatever you say."

I rolled my eyes.

I knew he knew how uptight I was. It was written all over my face and body. The tension made my muscles and joints feel like they needed WD40 in order to get them to function properly. I felt like a robot.

Even a stranger could've spotted it on me, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to fan that flame and give him the chance to point out anything or give him any more reason to be an ass anyway.

Hence the eye roll and nothing else.

"It wasn't too far at least," Harry interrupted, checking behind him.

My eyebrows squinted in confusion until I copied him, eyeing behind us. He had completely changed the subject, moving on to the next thing.

Which I was completely fine with.

He was looking at the courtyard we had just come from, visually measuring the distance of how far we had walked so far. And he was right about it not being far from the library we were heading to, too. If I had to guess, it was probably just about a five minute walk from where we had that group meeting. Although, time didn't seem to compute the way it normally did, or at least how I assumed time followed when life was normal. Even when I had my watch, it still seemed like a made up concept, contorted by some unknown force that was adamant on making life unbearable sometimes.

I still wasn't sure how I lost it, but considering all the things we had went through recently, it wasn't that surprising either.

"I don't get it," I broke out with a level of tension my voice seemed to have permanently held whenever I spoke now.