the play | Narry ✗

12 - harry

- Babe, you ok? - Louis shakes his hands in front of my eyes, snapping me out of my day dreaming.

- Hum, yeah. Sure - I respond, not sounding really certain but hoping he doesn't catch that.

Louis smiles at me, pretending to believe it. He then leans in for a kiss, and I close up the space, kissing him back. As soon as I close my eyes to deepen the kiss, I see Niall's face from rehearsal today. He was so close and he looked so handsome. I could feel his breath, smell him, see his features so clearly... My heart was beating so fast and it felt so right that I even forgot I was mad at him, for reasons that I cannot comprehend.

Without me realizing, my thoughts led me to kiss Louis harder, and I immediately felt guilty after noticing what I was thinking about. I couldn't think that.

I break the kiss after the guilt hit me, because it just isn't okay doing this to my beautiful boyfriend. I can't be thinking about other people. I can't think about Niall. Or his smell. Or his face. Or his perfect lips. Fuck, I'm thinking about it. Louis doesn't deserve this.

- Harry, what the fuck? - Louis stares at me, annoyed. Only then I realized I've been in complete silence after breaking our kiss. - You've been acting so off lately.

- I'm so sorry. And you're right, I am. Sorry about that too - I say, sounding guilty and remorseful.

- What were you thinking? - Louis said in an annoyed tone, staring at me.

Well, I couldn't exactly answer that, could I? It would hurt him, and I promised to never hurt him. And, also, there is no need. So what I have a crush? It's not like I would pursue it or anything. Thinking about kissing Niall is not the same of actually doing. I will just find a way to not think that anymore, that way Louis doesn't have to get hurt.

- You're doing it again! - Louis gets up, mad at me. - What the hell do you think about so much?

- The thing is... - I finally say, trying to gather my thoughts. - You know our third anniversary is coming up, and I really wanted to do something special for you, but I just don't know what yet. I don't want to do disappoint you, that's all.

I lied, straight to his face. I felt so bad the second I started, but I couldn't tell him the truth or not answer him, so I had to come up with something. I will find a way to get my head straight and what happened today won't happen again, so that I won't have to lie. It's a one time only thing... I hope.

- Oh, Harry... - Louis sits down again, immediately changing his tone to a soft one. - You could have just told me! You're the best, you know.

- I'm definitely not. But I do love you.

I do, I love him. I don't know what this crush is, but I'll get rid of it. For Louis.

*****
look who's alive lol
sorry for taking so long,
hope someone is still reading this!
love you all <3