COERCED TO BE HIS

chapter 43

His hands which encaged her between him and the wall, went back to their own Accord. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
He didn't knew how to deal with this.

"Why did you save me?" She asked as she looked at his face with misery.

He looked at her in disbelief. Was she really questioning him for saving her? Shouldn't she be thankful?

"Why didn't you let me go? Why didn't you let me escape from you? I was so close to dying but you ruined it all!" She shouted with all her might as her voice cracked in between. Her face reflected the pure agony in which she was in.

He was astonished at her sudden out rage. But he felt terrible for her. How can someone take their own life? It was still a mystery to him. And he always feared the death of water, it was unbelievable for him that she so smoothly went into it to take her own life and now she was raging at him for saving her?

"You need to calm down" he said in stern voice as he stepped closer to hold her by placing his arms on her shoulder.

She stepped back and removed his hands harshly.

"Don't you dare to touch me again! I hate you! Why don't you let me go?" She said again with broken voice.

Why don't he let her go?
This question was unanswerable to him. He himself didn't know the answer to it. He just knew that he needed her close, he felt the urge to touch, to feel her, she felt like a drug to him whenever you need it.
Only acknowledging his need he couldn't even differentiate that he was caging her in his own prison, he was snatching her freedom and rights. He was forgetting the definition of liberty in her regards. He only knew that she was his, only his whenever he wants. And he can keep her as long as he wants.
But now her attempts towards ending her own life gave him goosebumps. And he was in a state of shock as his insides were awaking.
He couldn't believe that she tried to kill herself because of his inhumane behavior. And she was so eager to escape him that she didn't even hesitated to choose death for her.

Ignoring her frail voice, he stepped closer.
He pinned her to the wall and looked at her face, into her orbs.
She was already in pain, his little action made her feel worse but not shocked to resist. She was already used to his touch by now.
She looked straight into his ocean blue irises, which reflected madness for her and steel like heart.

He only found her resentment towards him, bitterness, hate and everything other than something which could be clarified as softness or feelings.
She hated him. He knew it by heart now but still he was not ready to let her go.

When did she become his possession?

He didn't know.

He cupped her face with his both hands, not breaking the contact with her tear filled orbs. Her face was cold, just like her eyes for him.
He caressed her dry lips with his thumb while unknowingly his features held care, politeness and concern for her.
She was surprised to find the tenderness in his expressions for her as he tried to relax her.

"I know I'm a bad man Ayleen. I've did everything to hurt you but in my opinion to keep you by my side, to satisfy the fire inside me. And you've been a great woman to take it all. But I will never let you go. Not in a million years...." He admitted selfishly. But was cutt of in between.

"Why?" She cried more.

"Shhshh" he pressed a finger on her delicate lips.

"Because you are bounded to me. You are my wife and I have all rights to keep you. I don't know why but I don't think I'll get bore of you ever. But don't ever try to suicide again. Please. I beg you, don't ever leave me like this. I have everything a woman will ever want, just stay happy with me." The way he pleaded, her insides ached and made her believe everything for a moment. But her freedom was worth it.

"You don't have love! You don't have respect for me! You take me as a slave for your desires. You did everything until now against my will. How should I accept you? You are not a human! You kill people which I fear most. How can you ask me to stay when you're not ready to accept my rights? When there is no love between us? This marriage is just a endless fucking session for you." She said through her cries, making his terrible state worse as she paused for a moment.

Love, he thought.

"You've crossed all the limits and I can never think to start a life with you. Either I will die or will keep fighting till my last breath until I get my freedom and run from your filthy life!" Her last words were enough to spark his underlying fury. His eyes shot red as the blood ran to his eyes making her instantly regret saying it.

With all his force he punched the wall behind her so hard that her ears could swear on the sound of his bones getting fractured.
She was visibly trembling with fear at his sudden outrageous action, that she couldn't even dare to look at his hardened features.

With the same hand he gripped her throat so hard, forcing her eyes to meet his.
She felt herself gasping for air desperately. Her lips and her eyes pleaded him silently for letting her go. At the moment he didn't felt a ounce of sympathy for her as she clearly stabbed his ego, his reputation, his standards.
How could she call him filthy? She disrespected without any hesitance.

Who was she to judge his life?
She was not even capable of deciding her own fate, how can she dare to call his lifestyle dirty?
Never in a lifetime somebody ever tried to disrespect him so bluntly. Everyone feared him, respected no matter out of horror of his deadly actions.
But she?

"Who the fuck are you to call me such a discourteous word? I will never fucking let you go ever! Your filthy body belongs to me, and I will also mend this little brain of yours into something I appreciate." He gritted out the words through clenched teeth, his vein of jaw popping out in the process making her go insane.

He was snatching the hope from her gradually that she will ever be able to breathe again. As she desperately made frail movements with her hands and feet to push him away, but all in vain.

He released her imprinted neck only when he desired. She fell on the floor like a limp body as she tried to take big gulps of air and coughed thoroughly.
He sat on her level.

"And if you ever tried to suicide again then I will burn your dead body with my own hands and will shot down each member of your family, burying them along your side. And I mean it. Enough of being polite with you. Bitches don't deserve to be treated with care" the poison seething from his every word added bitter salt on her already bleeding wounds.

She was now a living dead body. She just cried more and more as he left the room.

The word love got carved on his soul as he took farther steps from her existence.

Did she just asked for love? Did he ever loved somebody in his life? Questions kept gathering in his mind as he subsided them with a mere thought, love is just a meaningless word who make people go crazy.

He sat on the couch with his anger fading away. The pain in his hand appearing like another storm.
He suddenly started feeling guilty of his actions as soon as the thunderstorm of rage cleared from his sight.

What was this madness?

This frustration?

Why is he feeling guilty?

Why can't he own his actions anymore?

Unknowingly she was destroying him from the inside.
In utter frustration he slide down all the things from the table in front of him.

What is she doing to him? He pulled his hair madly not able to fight his conscious.

One moment he hurts her and the other moment he regret it. Why?

She said love, but what is it?

Thick, hot tears rolled down his raw shaved face, as he cried not able to take it anymore.
But why was he crying? He didn't know.
He just kept crying, because he couldn't control it. His heart was aching for her, for his sinful actions which caused her pain. He couldn't own it, his actions which almost made her take her own life.

Who was he? An animal?

He knew it by heart that he did not meant any of it what he said earlier to her.
He will also die if she ever left him.