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Should I just give up? A question I'd been asking myself for weeks
I feel like I'm at my wits end and I can't control the urge to just give up and hide in my room for all eternity.
"You gonna type?" I hear my husband ask in his gruff voice from behind me. He sits on the couch of my home office, reading Pride and Prejudice
"Yeah..." I sigh heavily while closing my eyes to take a deep breath. If I get myself worked up it'll end up being a panic attack and I don't have the mental stability to deal with that
"Good. The typing relaxes me" he admits while flipping to the next page and adjusting his reading glasses
I don't continue though. I can't. "God why is this so difficult?" I groan while leaning back in my rolling chair, spinning around a few times to calm myself
"What's so difficult?" He closes the book after putting his bookmark in place "Don't tell me you're on the "I'm terrible at everything" bullshit again" he furrows his blonde eyebrows
"I hate to tell you but I am" the brunette puts her head down, letting a few tears of frustration slip as she does so
She heavily sighed and before she knew it she was picked up bridal style and carried to the bedroom.
He laid them down on the pure white sheets and held her to his chest. "Explain" he demands in a soft but stern voice as he combs his fingers through her loose curls
"Everything I write is shit. It's not up to my standards...I know I shouldn't hold myself to high expectations like this but I do" she explains while biting her cheek in order to not cry
"You're right...you put too much pressure on yourself. You are one of the most talented people I know" he states "You need to take breaks. I can't have you burn yourself out"
"But my fans-"
"Fuck them. I mean that in the nicest way I can but if they're really your fans they'll understand" he tells her as she relaxes into his arms
"Go at your own pace" he kisses the top of her head and rubs her back "Get some sleep. I love you" he holds he close
"I think I love you too" she smiles at the joke of when they first admitted their love for each other
"Night Matcha"
"Goodnight Suki"
You're so talented!! Don't let yourself get burnt out! Just take things one step at a time
