separated by the stars

8

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The wedding is tomorrow.

In order to clear my head, I had planned on visiting the market to buy the soon-to-be couple a wedding present. Even the thought puts a bitter taste in my mouth. My fragile dream is finally coming to an end, and I have realized that I am not nearly ready enough to let it go.

"Go away!"

At the sound of Sana's shout, I flinch. My sister never raises her voice. I may have heard it once or twice growing up, but she isn't one to shout. She hardly gets angry and is very understanding of others when they are upset. When she faces a problem, she is calm and collected, thinking out every plausible solution carefully and reasonably. If she's shouting, something must be wrong.

And as I round the corner, I see the root of the problem.

Bangchan and Sana stand in front of her chambers, a considerable distance away. They seem to be in the midst of an argument, or nearing the end of one. Bangchan is murmuring to her, calm words in some form of an attempt to calm her down, but she doesn't seem to be listening. Bangchan looks at her in pity as she hides her face from him in anguish. When he tries to console her, she pushes him away, glaring up at him in hurt and anger.

"Go!" She cries, pushing him once again, her eyes welling up with more tears, the only way for her to release the conflicting emotions rising inside. It hurts me to see her this way, so broken and irreconcilable. "Go and be with who you truly want!"

I freeze at the outburst as she turns on her heel, sobbing. She retreats into her chambers, slamming the door closed behind her. Bangchan watches her go, his hand falling quite uselessly at his side. As he turns to leave, his hand running through his hair as he sighs, he stops as he sees me standing there.

We hold each other's gaze for a considerable time, exchanging an understanding with just a few subtle indications of our expressions. After a moment, his eyes tear away from mine, and he walks past me, no other form of contact occurring between the two of us.

Trying to ignore the way my heart clenches itself tightly in my chest, I dismiss my guard before rushing towards Sana's room. I knock but when there's no answer, I open the door and enter. My heart breaks in my chest as I see her crumpled into a ball on her bed, her face buried into a pillow. Her entire body shakes as she cries, whimpers and sobs escaping from her chest. Her thin and delicate body tensing with the number of emotions tearing through it relentlessly.

Taking a deep breath, I close the door behind me and join her on her bed. She doesn't say anything when I sit, nor does she pay much mind to the parcel I place beside me. Knowing her, she doesn't like it when others see her cry, but with me she allows me to stay. She's said before that my presence is a comfort to her, so whenever she gets this way, she prefers me by her side over anyone else.

"The weather outside is nice today, have you noticed?" I don't expect her to answer, so her silence is warranted. I'd be surprised if she responded, to be frank. Instead, I continue, knowing that once she's ready, she'll talk to me, but until then I want to ease her pain, help her forget her distress. 

"I went to the market today, and I saw the cutest thing. A young boy confessed his feelings to a girl by making her a mud pie. That's not even the best part, he had placed a little rose on the top as a garnish! Can you believe it?" I chuckle to myself, noting the way her sobs and shaking have started to fade. "She accepted the love confession of course, but she only took the rose. She threw the entire mud pie away! That poor boy had been working so hard on it for the entire morning and she just dropped it like it meant nothing!"