"I know it's hurts now but you're still so young, there's so much time left. You'll get over it I promise."
"You were probably mistaken, your too young to understand."
"Being happy is what they would've wanted. Can't you just be happy?"
I'm falling apart. Your gone. I loved you and your gone. They say that stuff to me all the time but I know I loved, I love you, but the sickness took you and now your 6 feet beneath my feet.
We made so many plans. A road trip, dancing in the rain, clifftop rides at top speed, late nights watching movies, ordering a whole menu from a Chinese and giving it out to people on the streets.
We were gonna get drunk and laugh, travel to do many different countries, make friends, lose friends cry and and scream.
We had a whole life-
You had a whole life ahead of you.
We were going to marry. Move to Arizona and have kids. We hated holidays because of our trauma, but we were going to out them under a new light and celebrate them our way.
We were going to be together until death do us part, and longer then that. You always said to me you wished there was a stronger word then love because thats what you felt for me, and I felt that way.
You said you wanted me in your life for forever, and I wanted you in mine. We we're going to meet and hug and kiss and cuddle and explore and be together.
Never did we manage to share one moment actually together and not speaking through a screen miles away from each other.
I couldn't even be there to say goodbye, I didn't even say goodbye. I didn't get the chance to kiss your cheek and tell you how much I loved you, and hold your hand as you fell into an eternity of sleep. I never managed to say to you I wish more then anything you'll make it to heaven so I can see you once again in the afterlife.
I hate it I hate it how the first time I met you, I was dressed in black in the rain surrounded by people I didn't know, crying as I stared down at your grave.
I'd kill to see you for two minutes. Just two.
I fucking loved you, and you got so sick and your dead and I hate the world, and I miss you, and I wish you were here, I want you here.
But your not and I have to except that. So today I'm going to give you one last visit, and although I'll hold you in my head and heart forever, your gone and I need to move on.
I love you. I miss you. And when death embraces me and shows me to you, I'll finally reach happiness, the happiness I've been craving for a while.
I'll finally reach you.
