14 Days of Winter: A Journal by Kim Hajoon

Day Fourteen: Summer and Winter

Journal-nim...

Oh God...

I'm shaking right now. I...

I... I've just let her go.

I've just watched the love of my life leave me, flying back to Seoul.

She was gone not an hour ago, and I've just boarded the train back to downtown London. She might not even have flown away yet.

But, Journal-nim...

I've missed her already.

I'm missing her so much right now.

My heart aches writing this.

I... And I guess you've met her this morning. She'd written in you. So you know what I mean.

She's the cutest, sweetest, most beautiful soul in the world.

And I love her. I miss her so much.

Journal-nim...

I woke up today, probably around 7.30, finding her already awake. Her eyes were swollen. She was crying, but she was smiling. I asked her why, and she said she was sad that she had to leave today.

So I hugged her, so I kissed her... So I comforted her.

And she kissed me back, lovingly, passionately. I can never get enough of her tiny lips pressing against mine, her breath mixing with mine. When will be the next time I feel her again?

We had sex. No, I didn't mean last night. I meant this morning. We stripped off our pajamas and had sex on the bed, then we went to the showers to do it again, and then we went back to bed to do it again.

We did everything. It was as if our bodies did not want to be separated from each other. I came everywhere: On her adorable face, inside her throat, inside her rectum, all over her belly, on her cute butt...

Yes. I didn't cum inside her womb. I didn't want to risk it.

But she came. She came hard... More and more, again and again, she blasted her juice, jolting and squirming everytime she did so.

Journal-nim...

My body belongs to her, and hers belongs to me.

We didn't say it, but we knew it.

We finally let go of each other and got dressed, before cooking breakfast together, before eating together. She did her 'Bab meogja' call again...

Shit. Journal-nim... I miss her voice.

We tried our best to prolong our moments together, but time is cruel. Soon, Anish came knocking, and we followed him out of the apartment, into the big van, zooming through the snowy London morning towards Heathrow.

Along the way, our fingers were interlocked with each other's. We didn't want to let go. We didn't say much, probably because we didn't know what to say, but we did stare at each other for almost the entire trip... Smiling, giggling...

We reached Heahtrow at a little after 10am, just enough time for her to get her tests done and checked herself in. She finished the process, and then she walked slowly towards me... Before throwing herself at me to hug me tightly.

"Safe flight..." I uttered.
"I'm gonna miss you, Oppa..." she whispered cutely.
"Me too, Winter... Me too..." I whispered, stroking her long blonde hair.
"Promise me you'll come home as soon as the pandemic is over, okay?" she charged me. I chuckled and nodded.
"I promise," I said.

She looked up and smiled, but her eyes were glistening. I knew mine were too, but we didn't do anything. We simply let our tears fell as we stared at each other, smiling, busy wiping each other's tears to no avail.