spiral | a.c

6

chapter six
cullens time!!!

I stared out the window as the sun beamed across my face. I've been laying in my bed the past week. I knew my friends were worried about me, but I also knew that October had been updatng them everyday. My phone was on top of my nightstand face down, probably dead. October skipped school to keep an eye on me, but I insisted that she went to school. She applied for a job at the diner, and we were waiting for the results.

She cleaned out everything from my room, including my kit. I ignored her the most of the time, only giving her half smiles that dropped immediately when she wasn't in sight. She never closed the door whenever she left, and I was too lazy to get up and lock it. She monitored me closely whenever she was home from school, slowly walking past to get a glimpse when she pretended to go to the bathroom. 

Her off period was in the middle of the day so she would go home to check on me and do her homework on my floor. She wouldn't pay attention to me, but she knew her presence would stop me from hurting myself. 

The days passed by slowly. As each day ended, I started to feel more and more disgusting. I haven't showered in a little over a week. My breath was hot and my lips were extremely chapped. I had no motivation to get out of my bed and I felt incredibly burnt out. 

I groaned and slowly got up from my bed. I saw a glimpse of myself in the mirror across my bed, and frowned at the reflection. I knew the way I'd been living the past week wasn't healthy, and that I had to get myself together. My hair was matted and mouth was tasted sour.  

I closed the bathroom door to its full capacity and turned on the shower. The water slowly spurted out as I adjusted myself to the lukewarm water and sat down on the shower tiles. I cupped water into my hands and submerged my face into it. I sat there for a few moments and released the water onto the shower floor. I turned around to face to wall and ran my hands through my tangled hair. Usually I would try to keep my showers quick to keep the water bill down, but since I hadn't used any of the water in a week I decided it was okay. 

After 10 minutes more minutes, I turned off the water and reached for my towel. I dried myself and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I studied my state closely.

My eyes were puffy from crying and dark circles took over my face. My face looked insymmetrical and lopsided from laying down. 

I looked down to my arms. The jagged cuts were slowly healing. I hadn't realized how deep I had dragged the blade across my skin. I felt tears slowly piling up so I quickly turned in the faucet and splashed my face with the cold water. I pat it dry with the towel draped around my body.

When I finished brushing my teeth, I opened the medicine cabinet. I took out some gauze and slowly wrapped it across my arm.

I took the paper cup that sat beside the toothpaste and filled it with tap water. I quickly drank it as my mouth celebrated in response. I gulped down the cup within seconds, and refilled it a few more times. 

I walked down the stairs and reached into the cabinet for a granola bar. I took a few bites, finding it hard to finish despite the lack of food I've had. 

I made my way back into my room and cleared out all of the bowls, mugs, and garbage that filled my floor. October had been trying to feed me, but I just stared at food and twirled my fork in it. I ended up leaving it all on my floor. Looking at it now, I felt extremely guilty for wasting all of it and knew October had to be upset too.