spiral | a.c

9

chapter nine 

tw: drug use 

Before I went into school, I went in Dawson's car. They were all in there and talking about something but I couldn't pay attention. I kept looking outside by the Cullen's cars. She wasn't there, but I couldn't stop thinking about what she said.

Watch out for your sister.

I exhaled. I had already smoked before I got into Dawson's car and I knew it was more than I should've had before school. I shook it off and took another hit.

Last night, I had to push away the box I filled with my stash, blades, and bottles. It was so tempting, I knew it was right there. When I was about to reach for a bottle, I heard October go into the bathroom and I knew I couldn't do it. I had to stay strong for her. 

When the bell rang, I didn't steal Ivy's bag like I usually did. I could tell everyone was confused when I stepped out of the car without saying anything. I knew they'd ask about it during lunch, which I was dreading. 

I walked into bio. Edward was already there with his books out. I didn't know how to stop talking to him without seeming rude. I liked Edward, even though I wasn't close to him, he seemed really nice. But he wasn't worth the risk of Blake ruining my life even more. Blake. Suddenly, I thought about that night. 

Tell anybody about this and I'll kill you. Stop acting like you don't want to. We're done, it's over. Maybe if you just let me, I wouldn't leave. 

My screams. Her shoving me back down onto the ground. Her kicking me out as soon as she got bored. Having to go to school the next day like I was just sad because of a breakup. Like I went batshit crazy just over a breakup. 

--

"Ms. Black? Can you tell me what the process is called?" Mr. Banner was looking at me and I snapped out of my thoughts. I looked up at the board and answered, "it's meiosis." Mr. Banner nodded at me and started writing more stuff down. 

Edward tapped my shoulder and waved at me. I'd been successful ignoring him since class started but now that he was trying to get my attention, I didn't know what to do. I just looked at him and gave him a half smile. I think he could tell that something was off, because when the bell rang, he followed me into the hall. 

"Hey, are you okay? You were really quiet in class," he whispered, like he didn't want anybody to hear.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just really tired. Thanks though," I started walking faster to try to leave him behind, but he matched my pace and continued talking to me. "Hey, want to have lunch with my siblings and I? You don't have to talk to Blake or anything," he reassured me as soon as he offered.

When we walked past a corner, Blake turned and saw us walking together. I saw her look at me before she approached us like "what are you doing, did you not hear what I said yesterday?"

"Hey guys! Funny seeing you two together," she looked at me again when she said "together."

"Oh, hey Blake," Edward said. I could tell he felt awkward since I told him about Blake and I's past. I could tell they weren't that close based off the way they spoke to each other. Edward was nice to Alice and his other siblings, but he didn't seem the same way with Blake. 

"Yeah, I was just about to tell Edward that I can't have lunch with you guys. My friends will be expecting me," I didn't even look at Edward when I said it. I wanted Blake to know that I did understand what she said yesterday and I wasn't trying to talk to Edward. 

I didn't really want to have lunch with my friends since they'd ask about what was wrong, but I knew I couldn't have lunch with the Cullens. I really wanted to, but I knew it wasn't an option. 

"Oh, what a bummer," Blake pouted her lip at me. "There's not enough room at the table anyways. There's so many of us, but maybe another time!" She lightly pushed my shoulder and laughed. It was so high pitched and fake. I hope Edward could tell. 

"Hey, don't listen to her. We can always make room for another person. Alice has been asking about you anyway," Edward placed his hand on the same shoulder reassuring me. I didn't know what to do.

Alice has been asking about me? 

"But we really can't, Edward. I mean what about Bella?" She nodded her head across the hall where Bella was walking with Angela. Bella kept looking over between Edward and I.

"It's totally fine. I'll see you guys around," I almost said "I'll see you in bio," but I knew that would rub Blake in the wrong way.

 I walked away and went to psychology. Somehow, I never noticed that Alice Cullen was in that class. She sat in the very back behind Mike Newton, so I didn't see her since she was so short. When I started walking towards my desk, she saw me and signaled me over. "Come sit by me Raven!" 

I knew that Blake told me to stay away, but how could I resist? Edward told me she'd been talking about me and when a girl like Alice asks you to sit next to her, you can't say no. 

"Hey, Alice. I didn't know you were in this class," I set my backpack down and took the seat next to her.

"No worries! I've been wanting to talk to you since Edward introduced us. Your outfit is so cute by the way!" Alice gestured at my clothes and smiled.

"Thank you so much, I love your-" I was cut off when Mike Newton turned around and chimed in. "Hey, Alice, right? I'd watch out if I were you. Raven's probably going to use you to make Blake jealous. She wouldn't sit with you otherwise." 

I was fuming. For one, Mike thought just because I'm into girls, means that I will like every single one I ever talk to. He's done this since Blake and I broke up with practically any girl I've ever spoken to. People stay away from me because of all the rumors he's started. He had no right to bring up Blake in front of Alice. He knew that she didn't know about Blake and I. Also, this is the second time he's done this with a new girl. Except I could really care less about Bella. 

"Shut the fuck up, Newton. Can you grow up for once in your life? You've been such a dick since Bella rejected you. Move on, she's with Edward. Sorry that Blake wasn't interested either. Can you get the hint that you're actually disgusting and it hurts to even look at you right now? Turn around and maybe stop hitting on every single girl you see," I saw people start to record in my peripheral but I ignored them. Mike turned around and muttered "bitch" under his breath. Normally, I would've gotten up and slapped him, but I didn't want to freak out Alice even more.

"Sorry about that. Ignore what he said. He's seriously out of his mind-" 

"Hello, class. Let's get started. Everybody flip your books to page 160." Alice turned away and got her book out. I looked over and saw her lost in thought. I knew she was thinking about what Mike said about Blake. And I also know that I couldn't tell her the truth. 

--

a/n 

i'm too tired to proofread but enjoy! i'm going to try to start doing weekly uploads. love you all