Natasha Romanoff OneShots

I loved her so much - YB

In response to the final Hawkeye episode.
⚠️IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT THEN DON'T READ THIS⚠️

word count: 1k

Yelena slowly pushed open the door to her apartment, her limbs aching from the fight only moment previous. She sank down onto the couch, not caring if she got it dirty. Natasha was the only thing on her mind.

Memories of the short amount of time they had together played in her head and she squeezed her eyes shut, the tears flowing freely. She tried to not make a sound, but a tiny whine escaped from her lips, and that's when she truly broke down.

The couch dipped and suddenly she was pulled into a strong embrace, her head pushed into the other person's chest. Yelena took a deep inhale and instantly recognised Y/N's perfume. She grabbed hold of her shirt and didn't let go. Y/N stroked her hair in comfort, having never seen her girlfriend in such a state.

Y/N felt Yelena's breathing become laboured, so she quickly sat her upright and placed her hands on her shoulders.

"Hey. You need to breathe with me, ok? Like this." She exaggerated her breathing so Lena could copy, trying her hardest to get her breathing back under control. After a few minutes Yelena was breathing normally.

Y/N patted the floor between her legs and Yelena instantly knew what she wanted. So she sat on the floor with her back to the couch and allowed Y/N to pull out the hair tie at the end of her braid.

"So, did you kill him?" Y/N asked, gently pulling apart the intricate braid Yelena had done before she left she apartment. But she got no verbal response. Only a small shake of the head.

"Wait so what happened? I thought that's what you were going to do?" Again she got no response. But Yelena pulled her head away from Y/N's hands and dropped it into her own, which were resting on her knees. No noise gave away that she was crying, only the shaking of her shoulders told Y/N what was going on.

She hopped off the couch and onto the floor, walking around so she could sit opposite Yelena. She gently hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to meet her.

"Look at me. What happened?"

Yelena took a deep breath. " I didn't kill him. I couldn't. She wouldn't have wanted me to."

Y/N nodded her head. "Nat" she confirmed.

Yelena continued to stare straight ahead of her, looking just off to the side of Y/N's face. "She talked about me. I thought she'd forgotten about me but she talked about me. Clint knew, Y/N. He knew so I didn't kill him."

"What did he know?"

"The whistle. He did the whistle and all I heard was Nat. I thought it was her for a minute, but I knew it couldn't be." There was a moment of silence. "I really miss her."

Y/N heard Lena's voice crack and immediately pulled her into a hug. "I know you do. We all do." She finished untangling Yelena's braid. "She's proud of you, you know?" Yelena nodded.

But her cries soon started up again. "I loved her so much." she cried "and I never got to tell her. And I'm never going to get the chance."

Y/N just held her, knowing nothing she could say would make any difference. She started humming a russian lullaby, one Nat used to sing to them both when they were in Budapest, when the nightmares plagued the dreams. Yelena sniffled and then pulled away from Y/N. But she shuffled forward so she was straddling Y/N's lap, who was leaning against the coffee table.

"You know, when you went away, she used to tell me stories about you. She really loved you Lena, you were her everything." Y/N pecked Lena on the lips. "Did you ask him what actually happened?"

Yelena buried her head in Y/N's neck before she muttered "he said she sacrificed herself. I didn't want to believe him, but the minute he whistled I knew he was telling the truth. But if I could have just been there, it would have been different. I could have saved her. She would still be here!" Yelena was getting more and more upset, so Y/N slowly stroked her back and rocked her, similarly to how you would comfort a baby.

"Lena, you can't change that. How were we supposed to know? You were blipped, I was blipped. She did it to bring you back. We knew Nat, she would do anything for the people she loves. That includes you Lena. If we were really gone for 5 years, then that's a long time with no answers. Nat was strong, but-"

"I know. I believe him now. But- I mean, it's just he got to spend so much time with her. And I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"I know. And I'm so sorry baby. But you know you did the right thing."

Y/N felt Yelena nod into her neck, so she just wrapped her arms around her tighter. Yelena pressed tiny kisses on her neck and Y/N smiled.

"How's that Bishop girl?"

"My god she's annoying. Cyka pushed all the buttons in the elevator. But she did this cool body throw, and then smacked my hand with a throw-y thing!"

"Ahha, well, I'm sure you pissed her off just as much. And thank you. That's given me ideas on how to annoy you."

"Don't. You. Dare" Yelena warned. Y/N just chuckled, standing up and pulling Yelena up with her, dragging her over to the bedroom to get her changed out of her fighting gear.

A/N
I'm not sure why I wrote this tbh.
I also decided to put all my Yelena and Flo one shots in here as well as the other book I had because I know more people see this.