Natasha Romanoff OneShots

ghost of you - NR

i was dancing to this in the kitchen and this came into my head

there is a point in the story where i tell you to play the song, so don't play it yet.

(for some reason the song isn't appearing for some people, so i'll just tell you what it is so you can get it up. It's "Ghost of You" by 5sos)

word count: 2.2k

Y/N POV:

4 months.

It's been 4 months since she died.

And I keep telling everyone I'm fine, but there's a part of my that keeps telling me she's not gone.

And it's the irrational part of my brain.

But I miss her.

Words cannot explain how much I miss her.

It's painful.

We had a life.

A home.

But now all of that is gone.

Because she's not there.

Y/N

It's almost like I can still hear her.

Y/N

Hear her saying my name.

"Y/N"

A voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Yelena's voice to be precise. She was knelt in front me with her hand on my knee, a puzzled look on her face.

"You ok?" She asked and I blinked.

"Yeah yeah" I replied, brushing off her concern.

"You got any plans for today?" She asked, going over to open my window and freshen the room up.

"Hmm... no. Probably just sleep and stay in bed." I pulled the covers up under my chin and rolled over, getting fully cocooned in my duvet.

"Nope nope. You are getting up. You cannot lie here in bed all day. Nat wouldn't want that now would she?"

Hearing her name I grunted and buried deeper under my covers. "Don't say her name!" I yelled, not caring about Yelena's reaction.

"She was my sister. I think I have every right to say it" she countered, but I didn't respond. My mind was filled with memories and the overwhelming feeling of grief as I realised for the millionth time that she was actually gone. I felt the bed dip and a hand was placed on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't mean to." I didn't respond. "I just know she wouldn't want you moping around grieving her like this. She would want you to go out and live your life. See the world." Yelena offered, trying to comfort me.

"How can I see the world when she was my world." I sobbed, the tears rolling thick and fast. "I loved her but never got to show her properly. There is so much more I could have done for her. If I'd just had more time." My pillow was soaked, but I was too tired to flip it over. Yelena squeezed my shoulder and sniffed, probably trying to keep her own tears at bay.

"I have a suggestion for you. Wanda and I were talking and we think it might be a good idea if you go back there."

I rolled onto my back to look at her properly. "Back where?" I asked.

"Back home Y/N. The apartment that you and Nat shared. You've still got loads of stuff there and I'm sure there's some things of hers you want." My mind froze as she mentioned the apartment.

I hadn't been there since the blip. Since before Nat... died. The whole place was ridden with memories and I wasn't sure if I was strong enough. She breathed life into that place. Without her... it's just cold. Dark. Empty. Lonely.