Ventricular Arrhythmia

Chapter 9: Trembling leaves

A month later and there was still an unspoken tension between the members and Hyunjin.

In practice they would let him out in conversations while on break only Seungmin and Jeongin trying to talk to him.

At home his roommates were always gone. They even started sleeping on other rooms.
At first Hyunjin was thankful as he could sneek in his medication easier but soon he started feeling lonely. His best friends didn't talk to him, his crush was visibly angry and the worst, he couldn't understand why this actually happened. He did a mistake, he knows, he gets it, he apologized, but he is a human being everybody does mistakes.

He was bonding with his brother as he tried to be out of the dorms as much as he could so he wouldn't make things worse for everyone. But the unbearable feeling of sadness couldn't be ignored.

He didn't know if he should blame it on the current situation or on his pills. Surely it was a combination of the both. Now that he needed everyone's support he didn't have any.

He felt weak, in every way possible.

His body was starting to show the side effects of the medication already. His appetite decreased even more but he needed to eat so he did but this usually didn't turn out well as in the middle of the night he would find himself throwing up. He could feel his body getting tired easier and his breathing getting shorter. His skin also got progressively paler and there were times he found himself unable to focus or on other days unable to move. His left hand started shaking too from time to time. But it really wasn't that bad in his mind. Hyunjin's doctor called him once a week and Hyunjin's job was to describe his symptoms, not always being honest. Overworking himself, surely didn't help his symptoms either.

Today he woke up feeling weaker than usual. His whole body was hurting and at this point he couldn't understand if it was from the practice or not. He felt his hand trembling again, day by day getting worse.
Ignoring the unhuman pains he felt among with the tremor of his hand he wore his practice clothes and got downstairs. Another night of sleeping alone, another day of getting left out of conversations, another day of unending practice. If Hyunjin could turn back time he would've chosen the other path, even if it meant losing his passion and his job.

Now at the kitchen table everyone was talking about the choreography they should do first, while Hyunjin tried to eat his cereal in peace. But of course his hand had to start trembling in front of everyone. The spoon fell from his grasp making a loud noise and he was being watched by seven pair of eyes. He tried catching the spoon once again but his tremor made it worse.

Now the shoting death glares turned into guilty and concerned ones. They just now noticed Hyunjin's condition, a month of torture later. He seemed paler and thinner if it is possible, out of energy and sad with dark circles under his eyes. Watching Hyunjin's hands trembling like that scared them and their wild fantasy started to create different scenarios once again.

Overwhelmed Hyunjin tried to run upstairs and get locked into his room. But his tremor suddenly spread and he suddenly felt his whole body shaking and his legs giving up on him. His eyes were open but all he could see were blurry images. He wasn't unconscious yet but unfortunately he knew what that was. A seizure. His eyes rolled in the back of his head and everything went dark, his muscles convulsing and hitting objects around him bruising his skin.

Meanwhile, when Hyunjin tried to get away and he collapsed Chan felt like a train hit him. He felt even more scared when he saw his body's unwilling movements and his beautiful eyes rolling at the back of his head. They knew what was happening. It was seizure. Felix used to have one from time to time when he would get sick so they knew how to deal with a situation like this.
Petrified, they cleared the space around him and counted the time of his crisis.

Almost five minutes later Hyunjin's eyes opened again. Chan felt relieved. The boy he loved was okay.

"Shhh, Jinnie you are okay. Calm down, take your time. You will be just fine. Don't talk."

Chan and Felix whispered words of comfort, the others still frozen watching the scene from afar.

Almost half an hour later Hyunjins senses were all back, yet a migraine was making his skull hurt like hell. If he was in good terms with the others he would have broken down but he didn't want to let them down or scare them. So he tried to get up.

"Jeez Hyunjin sit down, what the hell happened. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm sorry. I- j-just have a- a headache."

"We need to get you to the hospital. This isn't normal. Minho, call for-"

"No! No, I'm fine really, it's happened to me before, it's normal don't worry I'm okay. Look."

He tried to get up but of course he wasn't able to do so, Chan catching him seconds before coming face to face with the floor.

"Whoa, easy there, you just had a seizure. Let me get you to your room."

"No I'm okay we should head to the practice."

"Noone is heading there. We will have a day off."

"I'm sorry Chan hyung for destroying everything once again-"

"Hey! Shut up. You've never destroyed anything. We are sorry for our childish behavior. We love you too Hyunjin. We are sorry."

"Just like Minho said. You are important to us, to me. I'm so sorry Jinnie. "

"It's okay Channie hyung, I'm sorry too."

With his knees buckling once again, Chan decided against on walking so he carefully carried him into the living room so they could all keep an eye on him.

"Now that you are settled, I'll call a doctor-"

"No! I'm fine!"

"I don't care what you say, you are going to get checked up by a professional."

"Can I at least call my doctor?"

"Okay, let's call your doctor. "

Merry Christmas guys! I hope you have fun and relaxe these days!