When There Is Hope

(12)Hope In Truth

AGNELLE'S POINT OF VIEW

Change. The word was foreign to me. Due to my circumstances from the past 7 years living with Erick , I never let myself ponder over words like change , adapt and feel. I didn't see any reason to do any of those things.

With his death and entry of my brother's , every moment of my life thinking went down to drain because I was only looking from a small hole. I never got to see the bigger picture.

But unfortunately for them , while I knew a glimpse of something different, they were molded to believe a whole different reality.

Now within the span of 48 hrs , both of our misconceptions are going to be broken.

After I woke up from the bullet was removed from my abdomen and the area was numb. But then realisation hit me when I saw their faces.

They knew. And they want to know what happened. But at the same time am i ready to tell them. To share with them.

But then I thought maybe it's time to let go. If we form some kind of bond or friendship, it might get tough for me to share this with them. Moreover it's easier to open up to a stranger for me.

Or maybe I am looking for a relief. I don't understand what I am feeling and what I want from them but I think i want them to fight for me. To fight with me. If they truly do they will become close to me. Maybe all i am looking for is a family where I belong. But I know I won't be able to tell everything just yet. So I took a leap of faith and decided. I will try. Because I know that if I don't then I will live with 'what if's' and regrets.

So here I am 7 days after the incident in my room. My brother's didn't bring up my wounds and scars which were redressed everyday by Eduardo. And I didn't asked about why all of them had guns or why I was shot.

But I guess this was it. With all my brother's in my room awaiting for an explanation. I was going to tell them for sure but with no regret or weakness but with a proud look. Because I was proud that I got out of it without breaking. I was just sad that i couldn't get over it.

"Well Erick my step dad and Jelena my step mom were not the best parents. My mom never really cared for me or loved me. I didn't knew why well..... until recently. But she was always guiding me and helping me as a duty so I guess it was ok. But my step dad in a very twisted way loved me. He was protective over me and tried to take place of both mom and dad. He in a very toxic way loved me. A little too much I guess. He wanted to control every aspect of my life. As a child he asked me to dress a certain way, eat a certain way , behave a certain way. And if I didn't listen to him, he would punish me. Sometimes slapping me or verbally abusing me"

I paused remembering the early years of my life. I used to hate myself that I can't make my parents happy or make them love me.

I didn't look up to see my brother's. I didn't want to see what they were feeling or maybe they were just indifferent. I won't know how to react either way.

"Then my m- step mom died. According to Erick it was because of me. That's when I first got to know that my dad was not stable. He was mentally ill. He was obsessed with trying to make a perfect doll out of me. Whenever I didn't listen to him he started to mark me. As a reminder to never repeat that mistake again. He started it when I was 8. Whenever I ate something wrong or didn't get good grades or didn't listen to him. He would mark me and remind me to always listen to him. As time passed by he started to portray us a perfect family. A single dad who will always loved her deceased wife and a trophy daughter who do everything he asks."

I promised myself to not cry but still I shed a few tears. Maybe it was because of the freedom I got for the first time in my life to let it all out. Or maybe for the pain that i didn't get to feel at that time. But it felt good.

I still didn't try to see my brother's reaction. I think they were absorbing this information. Well either that or were thinking of how to get rid of me.

First one who spoke was Riccardo ofcourse. But what shocked me was the tone in which he spoke. It was filled with sadness , regret and anger. Even more shocking was i could not just see it but feel it as well. Like we have some sort of connection.

"You are so strong Agnelle. I am proud of you. You held on for us because if you didn't we would have never gotten the chance to see you all grown up. You have become a beautiful human being. You might not remember us but you were and always will be our Little Hope. You've become an amazing Hope but we want to be with you in every step of your life to help you remember and become an amazing Agnelle Hope Vitale. You are ours. Our little princess and our strong warrior. And I am proud to be your brother"

His voice with the thick Italian accent prominent, in a way assured me that he was telling the truth. And just like that some tears left my eyes unknowingly.

I didn't know what came over me but I hugged me. It was the most warmest and secure hug I have ever had. His expensive cologne along with his body heat was the most comfortable thing thing that i could ever feel. His arms around me were caging me towards his broad and strong chest and at that moment I knew.

In truth was Hope and my hope was that this truth brings me to my salvation.

____________________________________
So.......
How was it. I tried really hard for this chapter and I like the way it came out. Next chapter would be bonding time because why not.

But first what do u guys think about Hope's past. Did she spill all the beans or is she still holding back😋. Also what do you think about Riccardo. I personally love him as a big brother. He is awesome.🤩

PS
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!🥳🎉
I Hope you guys will have an amazing year ahead. 🤗 May all the viruses 🦠vanish from your life 👻and all the book releases you are waiting for happen . May you also find a way to make money 🤑💵while sitting on the couch reading Wattpad because why not.😏😌
And on a serious note may you have amazing new beginnings in your life and a fresh outlook to life.🥰😇

PPS
The reason why I use maybe a lot of time in this chapter shows Hope's light anxiety problem. I just felt like mentioning it.😅

Next update will be in the next year.🎉
-🐿️