The Bench Warmer (Book 1)

Chapter 23: What A Dick Head

I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I did in fact begin to start to walk in to school, all at once, all at the exact same time as well, with out crutches at that, which I felt like I was proud of for some odd reason or another, even though I knew that I was just like every one else that was in the school right now, all at the exact same time too.
I did not want to be like every one else, as I kind of felt like quite a bit of an ass hole for even thinking that way in the very first place any ways, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as that was of course due to the fact that I knew as to just how strong, and just how fast that I had even been long before now, in the very first place any ways, as it did in fact hurt me quite a bit, if I was not going to lie to my self either, that I was no longer like that.
Now I really did feel like a normal person, as I really did feel like every one else that was even here in the very first place any ways, which I felt like should not be a bad thing at all, what so ever, as I had kind of used to feel like I had kind of wished that I had not been as popular as I had been, as I really had not liked the fact that every one was always all around me, and every one seemed to pay me a ton of attention for some odd reason or another.
How ever, that was not the case this time, as I walked in to the cafeteria, as I expected a bunch of kids to be looking at me, and seeing that the star athlete on the football team was back in school after being gone for such a long time, but that was just not the case, as I was in fact used to getting a lot of attention when ever it was that I had even walked in to a room, but that was simply just not the case right now, as it seemed like every one must have forgot about me.
I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down in the mean time, as I then all of the sudden began to start to dip my head a little bit low, as I began to walk in to the fairly empty cafeteria all at once, with my head a bit low to the ground, as I did my best to look for some one that I might know, and some one that might in fact be quite a bit of a familiar face to me, all at the exact same time as well, once again.
I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, all at once, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before now, as I spotted a familiar face, which was of course my friend Ray, as I remembered that he always seemed to come to school early him self, for some odd reason or another, all at the exact same time too.
I blinked my eyes a few times, all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, and to try to get my mind, and to get my focus off of the rest of all of those other thoughts, as if I was not going to lie to my self, I was not all too sure if Ray even wanted to be around me right now, all at the exact same time too, as I felt like he might in fact be a little bit hurt by the fact that we had not talked in quite a bit of some time, as I had in fact kind of been ignoring him the best that I could, when ever it was that he had texted me.
Now I felt like a little bit of an idiot for it, as I knew that as popular as I had been in the school, I knew that I really did not have all too many friends around me at all, all at the exact same time as well, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that my mind had been on long before now, as I then all of the sudden sat down right beside Ray, which just as I had feared, he seemed to be paying me no such sort of attention at all, as if I was not with him at all right now.
I kind of felt a little bit guilty of the fact that I also had not talked to my fiancee, who I was not all too sure if I wanted to call her my fiancee any more, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as I felt like it had been just as much her fault as it had been mine, as she had not reached out to me ever since I had got the injury at all, what so ever, and it had kind of hurt me quite a bit, as I knew that before I had gotten injured, she would always bother me, and she would always text me.
I kind of miss that, even if it did in fact use to get on my nerves back in the day, at least it let me know that she did in fact care for me, which I was now starting to question my self on whether or not that was in fact the case at all any more, as I breathed in quite a bit to my self, all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of the other thoughts that I had even been thinking on long before now, in the very first place any ways, once again.
I then instead got my mind, and I got my focus on the fact that Ray had now all of the sudden, finally at that, never the less, lifted his head up to me, and he had acknowledged that I was in fact with him right now at the very least, though the bit of a blank look on his face that he even had right at this very moment in time any ways, really did not tell me all too much as to just how it was that he had in fact been doing ever since it was that we had last talked to one another.
I was starting to get worried that he was just like every one else in the school, and he did not care about me now that I was not the star athlete, and now that it was that he knew that I was never going to be able to play football ever again, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I then all of the sudden saw that the blank look that was on the face of Ray had then turned in to quite a bit of a smile, as I then all of the sudden let out quite a bit of a soft sigh of relief to my self, all at the exact same time too.
I blinked my eyes a few times, all at once, as I then all of the sudden saw that Ray did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to nod to me thankfully enough once again, all at the exact same time as well, as it was clear that he was in fact letting me know that he was about to go on ahead and begin to start to go right on ahead and begin to start to speak to me, all at the exact same time as well, as I felt quite a bit better, now that I did in fact now know that it was in fact the case, all at the exact same time too.
I stared at him with a little bit of a blank look on my own face for quite a bit of some time, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I should do at first, as I was not all too sure if I should act happy, or if I should act surprised that he still wanted to be friends with me clearly enough for me, all at the exact same time too. Either way, in the end, I did in fact go right on ahead and nod back to him, to let him know that I was in fact paying attention as to just what it was that he even had to say to me in the very first place any ways, never the less, as I cracked a big smile on my own face in the mean time, as soon as I had in fact done as such a thing, once again.
Now that it was that Ray had seen me do as such as thing like that, he then all of the sudden did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to go on ahead and begin to speak to me, all at the exact same time as well, as I once again let out a bit of a soft sigh of relief to my self, as it was starting to feel like things were starting to get back to normal for me, even though I knew that it was not going to be the case what so ever, no matter what it was that was to happen at all, all at the exact same time as well, never the less.
Either way, I still felt like I should at least have a few moments of happiness, all at the exact same time as well, as I then all of the sudden began to start to hear Ray finally go in ahead and start to speak to me, after a long period of silence, and us just seeming to stare at one another, as I did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he was even about to go on ahead and even say to me in the very first place any ways, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, all at once.
"Hey Grant! It's good to see you, well! Back!" He said to me, as he cracked a big smile on his face once again, after just what it was that he had even said to me in the very first place any ways, once again, as I felt quite a bit better after just what it was that he had even said to me as well, if I was not going to lie to my self, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of the rest of all of those other thoughts, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead and nod to him quite a bit thankfully, once again.
It was clear that Ray was a little bit confused by it as well, as of course that was due to the fact that he was not all too sure as to just what it was that was going on in my mind set right at this very moment in time as well, as I was really starting to over think all of this if I was not going to lie to my self, as I was sure that things were going to be fine for me, and nothing bad was going to happen to me through all of this, all at the exact same time as well.
I kept the same smile that I had on my face long before now, on my face once again, as I then all of the sudden saw the look on the face of Ray all of the sudden begin to start to turn in to a little bit of a guilty look, which I was not all too sure as to just why that was in fact even th case in the very first place any ways, as I then all of the sudden began to start to breath in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at the exact same time too, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before now, once again.
I blinked my eyes a few times, as I was a little bit worried about the look of guilt that he had on his face right at this very moment in time as well, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as it kind of felt like there was some thing that he was not telling me, or there might be some thing that he felt like he should tell me, but he seemed to almost be a little bit too scared to break the news to me, all at the exact same time as well.
If I had to take a quick guess on just what it was that he felt like he was going to say to me, than I felt like it was going to be the fact that they had told me that I was not going to play football ever again, and he was a little bit worried that the news had not been broken to me just yet, and he felt a bit bad, due to the fact that he could clearly see that I was happy right now, as if I was about to get ready to go back on to the field, and get ready to start to train for the next season, all at the exact same time as well.
I rolled my eyes a bit to my self, as I knew that for one thing, I was not going to be able to play football ever again, all at the exact same time too, but also there was the fact that as happy as it might seem like I was right at this very moment in time as well, I realistically was not happy at all what so ever, as it felt like all of my hopes and dreams that I had my entire life, had now all of the sudden just been washed away, as it felt like now I was not going to have any other chance for the rest of my life, and there was nothing that I could do at all, either.
I knew that was not the case at all, what so ever, as I knew that I still had some scholarships to some Ivy League schools such as Harvard and Princeton, as long as I kept my grades up, as I knew that I was in fact academically gifted at that none the less, once again. I breathed in quite a bit to my self, all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I knew that every thing was going to be okay, as I knew that there was some thing else that I was sure that I could find, that I felt like I could in fact do, all at the exact same time as well.
I breathed in quite a bit to my self, as I was not all too sure as to just what that even was just yet, all at the exact same time as well, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before now, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to nod to Ray, to let him know that there was nothing that he needed to be worried about, and that I already knew how things were going to go from here on out, all at the exact same time as well.
I let out quite a bit of a heavy sigh to my self, all at once, as I got my mind, and I got my thoughts off of all of the rest of the stuff that I had been thinking on, as I saw that Ray had his head tilted over towards me, a little bit confused about what it was that I was getting at, at first, but in the end, he did in fact just so how ever, begin to start to nod back to me, all at the exact same time as well, to let me know that he was in fact paying attention to me, and to just what it was that I was even about to go on ahead and begin to start to say to him, all at the exact same time as well, all at once, never the less.
I let out quite a bit of another soft sigh of relief to my self, all at once, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of just what it was that I had been thinking on long before now, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to begin to go right on ahead and speak to him, now that I knew that he was in fact listening as to just what it was that I even had to say to him in the very first place any ways, none the less.
"It's alright dude... I already know that I can't play football ever again, you don't have to freak out about it around me... I just want to be friends still dude... If that is alright..." I said to him, all at once, as I then all of the sudden immediately noticed that he went on ahead and began to start to dip his head quite a bit low to the ground, all at once, as I saw that he once again had quite a bit of a guilty look on his face, once again, all at the exact same time as well, as it almost seemed like he did not want to be friends with me at all, any more.
I was in fact quite a bit hurt by it, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as it felt like I had at least hoped that he was in fact a good enough guy, and a good enough friend of mine to not treat me the way that I knew that every one else in the school was going to treat me, all at the exact same time as well, but now I was starting to think other wise, though it still did not make all too much sense to me at all.
If he did not want to be friends with me any more, than why was it that he simply did not just walk away from the table right at this very moment in time as well, never the less, once again. I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to try to calm my self down in the mean time, all at the exact same time too, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of the other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before hand, all at the exact same time too, never the less.
It felt like there was a lot that was going on through my head right now, and going through my mind right at this very moment in time too, that I felt like I needed to get a grip on, and I knew that I needed to get control of right at this very moment in time as well, as I just did my best to try to calm my self down, as I then all of the sudden began to start to state down at the table that was right below me right at this very moment in time as well, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of those other thoughts that had seemed to be going on through my head long before hand, once again.
I felt quite a bit empty in side, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I should even do right now, if I was not going to lie to my self either, as I felt like I was losing a lot of stuff right now, and it felt damn near impossible if I was not going to lie to my self, to even try to get a grip on my life right now, all at the exact same time too, once again, never the less. I began to start to breath in quite a bit to my self, all at once, as I then all of the sudden began to start to hear Ray begin to start to speak up to me, all at the exact same time as well, once again.
I began to start to breath in quite a bit but of a heavy sigh of relief to my self, all at once, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to lift my head up to my old friend, all at the exact the exact same time as well, as I did in fact feel quite a bit relaxed, and I did in fact feel quite a bit relieved by the fact that it was clear to me, all at the exact same time too, that I was in fact still okay, and we were still friends.
I saw Ray go on ahead and nod to me, as it was clear that he was trying to make sure that he did in fact have my attention on him, right at this very moment in time as well, which of course luckily enough for him, never the less, I did in fact have my attention on him right now, as I then all of the sudden began to start to nod back to my friend, just to calm him down, and to let him know that it was okay, and that it was in fact safe for him to go on ahead and begin to start to speak to me, all at the exact same time too.
I cracked a bit of a grin on my face, which clearly was not the look that I got back from Ray at all, what so ever, as I saw that he had instead, a bit of a guilty look on his face, just as he had before hand, as it did not seem like he was in fact paying me any sort of attention at all, what so ever right now, all at the exact same time too, which I was still in fact quite a bit confused by, as to just why that was the case, as he then just began to start to go on ahead and begin to start to continue to speak to me, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too, as I did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he even had to say to me in the very first place any ways, what so ever.
"That's not it my dude... Um... Your girl... I kind of wish that I had told you before now... I've got bad news for you... That dick head..." He said to me, as I was quite a bit confused as to just what it was that he was even getting at in the very first place any ways, until I then all of the sudden began to start to turn my head around over to just what it was that he was even trying to get my attention to in the very first place any ways, as I then immediately saw as to just what it was that he was talking about, never the less.
There it was, it was Kimberly right at this very moment in time as well, as I saw that she was at a table that was quite a bit far aways from where it was that me and Ray were at right at this very moment in time as well, which I still was in fact quite a bit confused as to just what it was that Ray was still trying to get at, at first, until I then all of the sudden began to start to see as to just what it was that was at the table right now, with her, all at the exact same time as well.
You would say that it was normal, and she still might be a little bit too embarrassed to speak to me right now, all at the exact same time as well, as I saw that she was at the table with a bunch of the cheer leaders that were in fact in the school, all at the exact same time as well. That was not what it was that I had my eyes on what so ever, right at this very moment in time how ever, as I saw that there was also some one else that was much different than the rest of the cheer leaders at the table right now.
It was a guy, and he was not a cheer leader at all, what so ever, as I saw that the guy was in fact a football player, and he was holding hands with Kimberly, my now ex fiancee if I now had to assume, even if we had not spoken about it just yet, all at the exact same time as well. It was not just the fact that it was a football player that he was holding hands with, but it was also Chauncey, who was the guy that had given me my injury in the very first place any ways, as it felt like it made it a hundred times worse, as I felt quite a bit of a sting in side all of the sudden, never the less.
I wanted to be mad at Chauncey, as I was in fact fairly certain that he had injured me on purpose, all at the exact same time as well, and not only that, but he clearly now had also stolen my girl from me, all at the exact same time as well, as it felt like it made in even worse, as I felt an even deeper sting in to me, as I then all of the sudden began to start to dip my head quite a bit low to the ground, all at the exact same time as well, as I knew that I could not be upset at Chauncey at all right now.
I mean, Kimberly after all was clearly the best looking girl in the school, as I was sure that he was not the only guy that wanted a piece of her, if I was not going to lie to my self either. I was more upset by the fact that Kimberly had kind of stabbed me in the fact, as she had gone out of her way, and she had ignored me for quite a bit of some time at that, never the less, only to start to go on ahead and date the guy who had in fact done all of this to me, all at the exact same time as well.
It did in fact infuriate me if I was not going to lie to my self either. I blinked my eyes a few times, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, though even that was quite a bit hard, as I really just wanted to go over to Chauncey, and beat the shit out of the guy, but I knew that was a terrible idea, as I knew that I would not win, as I knew that he was bigger than me, and also the fact that I was still trying to heal from my injury, all at the exact same time too, as I did my best to try to calm my self down.
I turned my head back to Ray, as I could still see the look of guilt that he had on his face right at this very moment in time as well, which I was not all too sure as to just why it was that he had that look on his face, when I knew that none of it was his fault at all, and he had nothing to do with it. I grunted a bit to my self, as I did my best to try to calm my self down, as I then all of the sudden began to start to shake my head over towards Ray.
Ray still had a little bit of a look of some worry on his face, but in the end, he did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to nod back to me, all at once, to let me know that he was in fact paying attention as to just what it was that I was even about to say to him as a bit of a response. It was a bit of a simple response that I was going to say to him how ever, as I really felt like it was best to just not think on it all too much at all right now.
I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at once, as I did my best to try to calm my self down once again, as I then all of the sudden began to start to go right on ahead and begin to start to speak back to Ray, now that it was that I knew that he was in fact listening as to just what it was that I was even about to go on ahead and say to him in the very first place any ways, as well, none the less.
"Yeah... What a dick head..."