my eyes snap open like a mouse trap.
"ed... where are we?" i question cautiously, examining my surroundings. the floor we lay on was checkered black and white, and the room smelt awfully of rotten... pizza?
"oh no." ed muttered, whispering a yeeheehee under his english breath.
"what is it?" i shook the redhead's awfully buff shoulder, my eyebrows furrowed.
"we're in... pizza pleasures..."
"huh? what is pizza pleasures?"
ed sighed, his head lowering. i could sense fear radiating off him.
"i've only ever heard about it in tales from lassies and mates i've met. yeeheehee, i didn't think it was truly real." his voice was shaky.
"ed, just tell me what pizza pleasures is!!!" i huffed, shaking his shoulder with an angry expression.
"there are monsters.... shaped like.. a certain body part. they're horrible, terrorizing creatures you couldn't even imagine, rigatoni." he bit his lip, his eyes scanning the room frantically. "the queen and her minions probably placed us here to get us away from mr. worldwide. what a horrible lady, yeeheehee."
"we can't just keep sitting around! we have to get out of here and fast! we need to help pitbull!" i stumbled up as quick as i possibly could, pulling ed up with my spaghetti shaped arms.
as we both stood up with fright and fear radiating through our bodies, trumpets by jason derulo starts playing statically through the speakers.
"trumpets is about 3 and a half minutes long. that must be how much time we have." ed muttered. we both began to run as fast as we could without slipping, my crocs in sports mode.
Yeah, the trumpets they go
ed grabs me and swings me over his meaty shoulders.
Da da, da ra-ra da
Da da, da ra-ra da
Da da, da ra-ra da
Da da, da ra-ra da
"ed, we need to go faster! we'll never be able to make it out!" i screamed.
"i know! i'm trying to go faster, yeeheehee!" he screamed back in response. suddenly, pizza... things? pizza things start flooding out of the hallways ed had previously passed, following us with a similar speed to the leprechaun.
i pulled out my taco bell burrito gun i had been holding on from my ex dad, and begun to fend off the monsters with what skill i had.
Yeah, the trumpets they go
"i'll never be able to think of this song the same way again." i muttered sadly, melancholy flushing over me.
"rigatoni, this is no time to sulk!" ed reprimanded. i groaned, before shooting the pizza things with as much focus as i could muster in a situation like this. a life or death situation.
Da da, da ra-ra da
Da da, da ra-ra da
Da da, da ra-ra da (Oh)
"'toni!" ed yelled. i hummed in response, trying to hit as much monsters with my bullets as possible. "i can see the exit! give me your gun!"
"are you crazy? we'll die!" i gasped.
"trust me, i have a plan, yeeheehee!"
"fine. but if i die, you're not in my will." i reluctantly gave the man my taco bell burrito gun, only to watch him eat it, ammo and all.
"why would you do that?!" i slammed my fists into his back, but to my suprise, no reaction came from him. his eyes were squinted in determination i had never seen before in my life.
I wrote this song looking at you, oh, oh
Oh, yeah
suddenly, a foul smell filled my senses. before i knew it, me and ed were rushing forward with a speed i couldn't comprehend. ed, the genius, was using his farts to make him faster!
i cheered, tears running down my cheeks as a grin found its way onto my face. ed dashed out of the exit, and out of pizza pleasures. he screeched to a stop, tossing us both onto a field of tall grass.
"rigatoni, are you alright?" ed appeared above me, and i nodded.
"i'll be fine." i winced, before rising up and cracking my fingers. just above the grass, which was just a bit lower than my head, me and ed spotted a building across the street.
"that has to be where elizabeth has my husband." ed spat, his hands balled into fists.
he grabbed me by my hand, and sped off towards the gray building. the road was filled with cars, and the sun was setting.
"it must be rush hour." i bit my fingernails off my free fingers.
"hell, if i care, yeeheehee!" ed scoffed, jumping onto the cars in our way. i guess he never skipped leg day.
my head was pounding and my ears were ringing as ed and i found ourselves in front of the building. the sign told us it was a movie theatre, but ed concluded otherwise.
"are you ready for this, rigatoni?"
"ready as i'll ever be!" i laughed, and ed opened the doors. we came face to face with guards.
as i went to punch one of the pesky guys, i blinked, and they were all down in an instant. ed was already rushing forward.
i ran after him as fast as i could, his speed unparalleled. he turned corner after corner, jumping over barricades and barriers. finally, we came face to face with a red door. inside was the smell of popcorn and...... the sound of cheering?
"let me open it, ed." i offered, causing him to slowly nod.
"be careful." he warned.
"don't worry." i whispered back, before opening the door with caution.
bright lights flooded my vision, and i couldn't help but put a hand in front of my eyes. suddenly, everything came to view. there was a ring, and inside the ring was elizabeth.... and mr. worldwide himself.
"i knew they'd come!" pitbull grinned, flashing his pearly whites. i smiled in return and ed blushed, muttering a flustered yeeheehee.
"guards, tie them to the empty vip seats! this shall be a fun show." elizabeth commanded, before bursting into a fit of laughter.
the guards tranquilized me and ed, leaving us unable to move for the time being, and tied us tightly to plastic blue seats placed directly in front of the ring. we had a perfect view of the two opponents.
"welcome, ladies and gentlemen." a loud, male voice said over the speakers. the crowd bursted into loud cheers, and claps, among other celebratory gestures.
"the announcer sounds familiar." i said, and ed frowned.
"the announcer is rayden from sussyleviackerman420's hit wattpad fanfiction. pitbull's ex boyfriend."
"oh no."
