The Fear of Letting Go (BoyXBoy)

Chapter Eighteen; Vacation Days

** WARNING WARNING WARNING GRAPHIC GAY SEX AHEAD!! **

I'm so sorry for taking so long to update, and thank you to everyone who has been patiently waiting all this time! I've been so busy with college and everything and even though I've been working on this chapter for a very long time, I could never get it exactly how I wanted it. There is one more chapter after this one, which I will hopefully have up soon! Thank you so much again to everyone who has been reading and waiting, I really appreciate it and I hope that you enjoy! 

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"Okay," West exclaimed, practically slamming his bedroom door behind him. I glanced up from my magazine, a smile spreading on my cheeks. He had only been gone for about twenty minutes or so, but to me, it had felt like hours. I swirled around on the computer chair to face him. He huffed, dragging a hand through his hair as he made his way towards me. "My parents just left; the rug rats are at my grandparents' house until Sunday... and we officially have the house all to ourselves for the next five days."

"Mm, what ever shall we do?" I mused, dropping in the magazine in my hand and reaching out to him. He took my hand and allowed me to drag him to me, taking his place behind me. He leaned down, resting his chin in the crook of my neck, pressing his lips to my skin.

"Any ideas?" He breathed, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I instantly leaned back against him, practically purring at his touch. Reaching back, I grabbed hold of his belt buckle, causing him to jump slightly in surprise. I peered back at him, waggling my brows, taking great pleasure in that cute look of shock he was giving me.

"I've got a couple."

He laughed softly, his eyes glittering at me. He straightened up and reached down, grabbing hold of my hand. He pulled it away from his belt and looped his fingers through mine. I quirked a brow. He drew in a breath, almost as though he was preparing himself to say something, and my chest tightened.

"You know, I thought you were going to suggest something like that b-but actually, I- HEY! Hey, don't make that face, Liam. Everything is okay, baby, I-I just... I wanted to talk to you about something first," He started slowly, walking around me to lean against the desk, dragging me around in a circle as he did so. I furrowed my brows, my stomach flipping as anxiety suddenly began to take over. I tried to sound calm.

"What is it, love?"

He gave my hand a squeeze, his eyes falling to the ground.

"So, we've, uh... For the past couple of days, we've been... we've been trying to have sex and-and, well, something... something just hasn't really been clicking," He began, and I instantly felt like I was going to throw up. Fear quickly started to rise inside of me, and West must have noticed because he gripped my hand even tighter, like he could sense that I was going to try to pull away. "You've just been moving so... so fast, like you're just trying to get it over with, you know?"

I started to speak up at that because it was anything but true but West quickly cut me off.

"At first, I thought that maybe you were just trying to take the lead because I've never had sex with another man before or that you were just holding yourself back because we were always in my room, with my siblings and my parents in the house. You always seem so... so stiff, like doing this with me made you uncomfortable, a-and I thought that eventually, you would loosen up and let me do more. But I've been thinking about it and now... Now, I think that there might actually be another reason that you've been acting so weird," He continued, a small smile starting to rise on his lips. His eyes glittered, flickering up to me. "I've noticed a couple of things. You never let me see your face and you almost never let me touch you. You always try to prep yourself beforehand and you either try to ride on top of me, facing the other way, or bend over with your face in a pillow. Every time I even move to touch you, you push my hand away."