Saved Me

20

Warnings:
-Mentions (described) torture
-Suicide attempt (overdose)

Clay's POV

My body was sweat soaked as I opened my eyes after passing out because of a panic attack. I had been gone for weeks now, I had no contact with anyone and no one found me either since I had my phone turned off.

In those weeks that I had been alone here, my whole life collapsed worse than it ever did. The first night when I was here, I took way too much drugs and alcohol. I threw up eight times, including the times when I was hungover, and couldn't get out of bed because I was feeling so sick.

I couldn't stand up that day so I didn't take anything, but the next day I immediately relapsed and took a lot again. All the drugs and bottles Techno gave me were empty and gone in a week and five days.

When I realised I didn't have anything anymore, I panicked really badly. I had a very bad withdrawal which caused me to get so mad that I smashed multiple things in the apartment. I broke furniture and screamed for so long that I lost my voice.

I hoped the withdrawal would pass by soon, but it didn't at all and it got only worse. I panicked more and more and started suffering from bad panic attacks. They were so bad that I passed out because I hyperventilated so much and lost air.

If this wasn't bad enough... my stepsister decided to show up a while ago.

I felt the effects from the ecstasy I just took getting less as I sat on my bed, ready to grab a cigarette to smoke as I heard the doorbell ring. I was confused because no one knew I lived here so I figured Techno would randomly show up.

I breathed out as I slowly went downstairs with my crutches, realising how much my body was hurting from all the drugs I took the few last days. I was so hungover and I immediately had withdrawal symptoms when I didn't take anything longer than twelve hours.

I put the feelings aside and stumbled to the door, slowly opening it as I got pushed down by someone who was laughing. They had a hat over their head and turned around to shut the door.

'Hello?' I mumbled as I tried to stand up which was hard since my hand was in a cast and so was my foot. I just learnt how to walk on crutches with my cast, but I didn't know how to get up.

The person pulled off their hood and then I realised this was my stepsister. I froze and tried to crawl away as she lifted me up, pushing me onto the chair in the living room. I couldn't do much as she grabbed a rope, tying it around my waist and arms so I couldn't escape from the chair.

She tied my legs to the chair legs so I couldn't stand up either and then she sat next to me with a big grin on her face. 'Now it's my time to shine. I can do whatever I want to do with you now.'

I had no idea how she knew my address but I was caring about other things now as she came up to me with a big smile on her face. 'It's easy, I'm just breaking some of your bones to have fun and then I'll make you scared again.'

~~~

I was crying loudly when my stepsister left. She turned off the lights again and played horror music, jump scaring me every now and then. When I thought that was enough, it definitely wasn't.

She turned into an actual psychopath and sat down next to me with a razor blade, making very tiny but stinging and bleeding cuts on my body.

I screamed for her to stop, but she grabbed my fingers and broke it which caused me to scream from the pain. She laughed loudly, then smiled brightly and grabbed something hard that she threw at my face, especially to my nose which caused me to hear a very loud breaking sound.

And that was what happened a few days ago. She broke two more fingers and my nose that bled for hours after that. I couldn't go to the hospital so I had just been suffering a lot, also having to go through such a bad withdrawal...

I lifted myself up from my bed, trying to hold my broken fingers as still as I could. I didn't know what to do anymore, I felt so hopeless and I had so much pain that I couldn't deal with it anymore.

No one found me yet, I was sure they weren't even looking for me. No one cared about me and I didn't want this anymore.

'Only because I'm gay,' I whispered to myself. 'I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO BE!'

I lifted myself up, noticing how shaky and breathless I was. I needed drugs. NOW.

I was about to grab my phone to text Techno as I realised no one could know I was here. Everyone hated me because I was gay and didn't even choose to be gay. I didn't want this either, I just wanted to be loved by my family and friends...

I stood up slowly. I couldn't walk with my crutches anymore since my fingers hurt so much. I sat down on the floor and slid myself to the door to go to the bathroom. I really needed the Advils Techno gave me because I needed to calm down and ease the terrible pain in my body.

⚠️ Suicide attempt (overdose)

I crawled to the bathroom as suicidal thoughts overtook my body. I stared at the Advils and then breathed out slowly, smiling softly. This was my escape and I wasn't failing this.

I grabbed all the thirty-five pills and crawled downstairs with a bottle of water. To make sure I wouldn't fail, I was going to the bridge too and jump in the cold water to make sure I wouldn't survive this.

I had no willpower left in me. I wanted to be gone here, I needed to escape the torture I went through so often. I needed to escape the homophobia and the bullying about my sexuality and this terrible withdrawal that was never ending. I was completely done with living, I had no power left to fight.

This was it for me, the end of my life that had only been terrible...

1086 words