Different Heroine (V1)

What do you see me as?

I figured it out sooner or later that she wouldn't see me that way. Especially when she saw that boy, Hirata Yosuke is a lucky guy. First Karuizawa and now Mii-chan. I am starting to see it now...

Why Karuizawa went to him for her plans. why Mii-chan favoured him, why Karuizawa chose him as a fake boyfriend, how people looked at him...

I feel like it was something I can't have.

No... I already had it, yet she went away.

I was once friends with Karuizawa, but our relationship became strained after the rooftop incident. After that whole debacle we drifted apart, we never spoke, we didn't even acknowledge each other...

But I didn't mind it, at least it ties up one loose end. Now I had to look for someone else, I never left anything to chance. I never looked at people at face value, that's how I found out about people's true face.

Mii-chan was no different, I knew why she went to me...

I knew why she cooked for me, I knew why she visited me, I knew the reason as to why she looked at me that way...

If you understand it then why not say it? Why hurt yourself?

Well... I guess I can't say the same, I only hurt myself when I told her what to do. I gave her advice, told her what to do. Sweet words came out of my mouth that day, yet the content was one that I loathed.

Weird... I didn't know I could hate. At least one positive outcome came from it... I can feel hatred for something.

Honestly, why couldn't I avoid it? Why did I let her go?

Unfortunately, I didn't... She let go of me.

I lost two candidates, I already lost a trustworthy ally and now I lost a possible lover. Since when did I become delusional?

I guess this school changed me, much quicker than I thought...

Homeroom ended forty minutes ago and we were now in our English lesson.

I can't focus... Right now class was ongoing and I delved deeper and deeper into my thoughts, I couldn't bring myself to listen to such a boring lesson.

Especially when I already mastered the language...

I looked at the person beside me, she was diligently taking down notes and attentively listening to sensei.

Relax a little, you are like me Mii-chan. We both already know English at a high enough level, why not take a risk and ask that question that has been burning you inside.

Ask me why I can't smile.

I know how you think, words and actions that you have shoved right at my face.

All your pretentious feelings and desires drilled into my non-existent heart. Your feelings always come first don't they Mii-chan? How about my own sentiment? Who am I to you exactly? Such a question plagues my mind daily.

So why not tell me? Why not tell me too Satou...

Why so scared? If you are like Mii-chan then you don't have the right to be with me. Neither do you Mii-chan.

"Why are you staring at me Ayanokouji kun?" She didn't even move her head to look at me, she just whispered that as she was looking ahead whilst taking down notes.