38 - Visiting

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Sleep has never been as easy and comfortable like it is now

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Sleep has never been as easy and comfortable like it is now. At least, the last time I remember sleeping this well was way before my dad had left.

"Come on, Lu-lu. It's time to go."

For the first time, Dylan is the energized one out of the two. I didn't even notice him slipping out of bed. If he made any kind of sounds, I didn't hear.

That's how tired and spend I was after everything that had happened.

"I'm up, I'm up," I mutter with my face hidden in the pillow.

Just as I muster the courage to raise my head, a warm hand starts massaging it and I can't help but purr at the feeling. If he thought this would make me want to get up, it only makes me want to snuggle in some more.

I want to go check on my mom but I am afraid.

This is not the first time she's overdosed, I've been using my heart on my sleeve for long enough. Waiting on the day that I'll be too late, that I won't be able to help her

But last night, Liam gave me hope with the rehab talk. Will it finally be enough for her to realise that we need this? That she needs this?

However, with hope comes fear. Fear that once again, I won't be enough for her to take this step.

"Right," I find the courage to straighten up and face the world. "Let's go."

"That's my girl," Dylan smiles.

It doesn't really reach his eyes and for a second it makes my own falter.

But with everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours, I can't blame him. Worrying takes a toll on people, I of all should know it. That's why I dismiss his fidgety behaviour and nervous glances throughout the entire morning, from the moment I start getting ready, to the moment we step into the hospital.

Once in the hospital, with Liam's influence we are allowed to visit my mom together when, in reality, only one person at a time could be present. But I couldn't do it without Dylan being there, and Liam is the key person in helping me convince my mom to do the treatment.

"I'm here," Dylan whispers to my ear the moment we stop in front of her bedroom's door. "I'll always be here." 

The moment I open the door, I am met with barely any colour. All around us, the entire bedroom is white. White walls and linoleum floor, white bed and sheets cover her body. If it weren't for the soft raising of her chest, it'd look like she was dead. The only speck of colour in front of me is her pale skin and dark brown hair - the one I inherited.

I've always hated hospitals.

The bitter scent of antiseptic and the artificial undertones left by the industrial cleaners fell my nostrils, making me want to gag. But I push through it, taking a few steps in her direction.

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