Stray // Daryl Dixon

Bare Truths

I ran down the street as my vision blurred from crying. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. I said over and over again. I held onto my cheek, the area still tender and hot from the hit. My feet carried me down the road as I heard someone call out for me from the party. I think it was Lincoln, but it could have been Rick, I was too far away to tell. My stomach flipped when I thought about the conversation I'd have to have with Lincoln now. That very conversation I had avoided for so long. All my insecurities, guilt, and fear, creeping back into my brain from those few words. "He's dead because of you, Scar."

My feet carried me all the way back to our house. I barreled myself through the door and up the stairs to the bathroom, wanting to wash off today's events. I was undressed and in the shower before the water even turned warm. I don't know how long I stood there for, but by the time I got out the room was one big cloud of steam and my skin had been scorched. My body was numb, but I could still feel every ounce of the pain radiating inside of me. My only plan for the rest of the night was to sleep. Sleep would help. If I was asleep then I wouldn't have to think any longer. I wouldn't have to feel the terrible twisting in my stomach any longer. I could find relief just for tonight.

I slipped into some boxer shorts and a baggy tee before reaching for the door. When I walked out of the bathroom, my dress in hand, my eyes landed on the very last person I expected to see laying on my bed. Daryl lay comfortably in the middle of my mattress, the covers still neatly folded underneath him. One of his arms sat propped underneath his head while the other fiddled with a book I had resting on my bedside table. I stood still, watching him until he looked up at me. For some reason, some of that relief I craved came with the sight of him here.

"You made it up the stairs," I said, a little disbelieving in my tone.

He nodded his head slowly, his eyes returning back down to the pages of the book. "Aaron gave me a job. Asked me to be Alexandria's other recruiter," he said, his tone bored.

I dropped my dress down on the floor, any plans to put it back in my closet completely vanished as I walked closer to my bed. "Are you going to do it?" I asked. He could tell I was nervous but eager to know after I yelled at him to give this place a chance.

"Yer gonna be out there. I might as well be too," he shrugged. He didn't want to admit it to me, that he was trying, I could tell he was trying to be as carefree about the decision as possible. I smiled at his response anyway. I crawled onto the bed, not saying a word as I lay down beside him, my head resting on his forearm. Tonight had been awful, but this seemed to make it a little more bearable. It was silent for a couple of minutes, both of us comfortable with it until Daryl spoke up again. "What happened at Deanna's?"

I furrowed my brows as I lay there, not turning to look at him in fear that my face would give it all away. My words failed me just as much though as I began to stutter on them. "W--what do you mean?" I asked, my voice quiet. I don't know if I really wanted to talk about that yet with anyone. Although, I knew that the questions would come eventually when I would have to talk to Lincoln.

"You ran right by me at Aaron's house, crying," he stated. I then realized that's why he was here. He didn't just come upstairs to be upstairs, he came to check on me.

I sighed, "My sister-in-law lives here," I responded. I paused for a moment, contemplating in my head how much I really wanted to reveal about it. I felt mortified and guilty and ashamed and above all so much hurt that she thought those things about me. But, maybe I felt that way because deep down inside I believe what she said was true. "Can I give you the bare truth?" I asked.

"What?"

"I mean no bullshiting. Tell you exactly what I think," I explained.

"Don't you always do that?" he asked, but he wasn't trying to be funny or mean when he said it. He was right, I did speak my mind quite often, but I also censored a lot of my thoughts. I wasn't about to do that right now.